Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree.
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Many people believe that parents should take care of their children’s physical health. They
also
believe that schools should include sports
and significant exercises in their PE programs. In my opinion, it is crucial to encourage young ones to constantly move and play sports
, which will help them in many different ways.
One of the biggest advantages of physical exercising
is how it benefits our health. Any kind of movement is great for our brains and concentration. Teenagers, who are constantly sitting by their desks, might face back problems or headaches. Doing Replace the word
exercise
sports
during school time can, for instance
, make them feel better in their bodies or, additionally
, help them be more efficient in class. Furthermore
, doing sports
is a great opportunity for youngsters to integrate. Many team disciplines can unite teenagers by the desire of
victory. Change preposition
for
Consequently
, playing, for example
, basketball or football will help them with their teamwork skills and boost their confidence. Moreover
, taking care of physical health in the family can improve relationships between kins
. Group Fix the agreement mistake
kin
sports
usually require good communication and helpfulness. Running together or going to the gym can have a positive outcome on our relationships with parents or siblings,
because we can share common interests.
Remove the comma
apply
To sum
up
everything that has been said, taking care of regular exercise is one of the most needed habits young people can acquire. We must remember that constant movement helps us with our bodies and thinking, which is crucial for youngsters during education. Add a comma
up,
Also
, sport unites people and it can be a great opportunity for families to spend more time together in a healthy way.Submitted by bandrowskaagnieszka1 on
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task achievement
Ensure that the discussion remains focused on the responsibility between parents and schools alongside the benefits highlighted. This ensures a full response to the prompt.
task achievement
Clarify specific examples more detailedly to bolster your points. For instance, while talking about teamwork, mention specific studies or anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs logically to maintain an even smoother flow.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and directly addresses the prompt by stating your stance.
clear comprehensive ideas
The benefits of physical exercise are well-articulated, showcasing your clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have logically structured the essay by dividing it into distinct parts, making it easy to follow.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion