Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with baasic assistance such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #baasic #assistance #food

Developed nations should welcome more asylum seekers and

also

give them the necessary aid

such

as food and shelter.

This

essay strongly agrees with the statement because they

also

have the right to live a better life and at the same time, these

countries

can

also

solve the problem of labour shortages that they face every year. Many advanced states are allowing emigrant from developing and poor nations and should increase their acceptance of basic necessities.

This

is because they

also

do have the right to lead a good life.

For example

, In 2022, many European and North American

countries

increased their quota for refugee intake and gave asylum to the people of Afghanistan after

Taliban

Correct article usage

the Taliban

show examples

came into power.

Besides

this

, they were

also

provided with basic needs

such

as clothes, food and a place to live in. Another reason why western

countries

should increase their acceptance is that these regions mostly have less population

hence

they are always a shortage of labour.

As a result

, they

also

require manpower who can fill in the jobs

such

as truck drivers, farmers, store-keepers, cooks, etc.

For instance

, every year Canada requires around 3000 or more people outside of it due to

manpower

Correct article usage

a manpower

show examples

crunch depending on the requirement. Many European

countries

are

also

facing

such

Add an article

the such

a such

show examples

Correct article usage

an issue

show examples

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

and have eased their stringent visa requirements to attract foreigners

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

inorder

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

to tackle

this

situation. In conclusion, rich nations should increase their refugee intake as well as take care of them until they are independent themselves because every human being has the right to live a better life and they should not be deprived of

this

. In

this

way, the governments are

also

meeting their requirements for

labour

Add an article

the labour

show examples

shortage.

Submitted by pooja.newar12 on Sun Oct 23 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Your opinion

Write about the following topic: Many manufactured food and drinkproducts contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

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