IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
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Internet is becoming necessary in all aspects of our lives; we depend on the
things
Use synonyms
 that integrate the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 into it, especially the
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 with
featured
Replace the word
features
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, even though for some
people
Use synonyms
, these
things
Use synonyms
 will be beneficial to gather
people
Use synonyms
, I believe that social
media
Use synonyms
 on a personal gadget like Twitter or Facebook negatively affects younger generations to build personal relationships. Exclusively, they neglect their presence in real
life
Use synonyms
 and lack social sensitivity. Usually,
people
Use synonyms
 who enjoy their time on social
media
Use synonyms
 neglect their presence in real
life
Use synonyms
. They prefer to communicate via text or videos and post their daily activity on social
media
Use synonyms
 rather than meet
people
Use synonyms
 face to face. Sometimes they focus on the
things
Use synonyms
 that happen on social
media
Use synonyms
 but do not realize the
things
Use synonyms
 that happen in their closest environment,
for instance
Linking Words
, simple
things
Use synonyms
 like the name of their neighbourhood. If
this
Linking Words
 happens for a long time, the younger generation cannot form personal relationships and will lose social sensitivity.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that social
media
Use synonyms
 will help individuals connect positively.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to travel to meet others, which saves them time and money.
However
Linking Words
, even though
this
Linking Words
 social
media
Use synonyms
 platform offers the benefit of easily becoming friends with new
people
Use synonyms
 worldwide, I believe
this
Linking Words
 kind of relationship does not equal interconnection in real
life
Use synonyms
 to expand individual connections.
For example
Linking Words
, a friend from social
media
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 cannot give physical contact when we need encouragement.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though social
media
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 individuals connect positively, it does not equal interconnection in real
life
Use synonyms
 to expand individual connections.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 has an adverse effect by neglecting their closest environment.
Submitted by Putriaaa on

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