Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Online shopping is one of the techniques that has grown dramatically in the past ten years, changing the consumption pattern of the whole society. Some of the countries’ physical

stores

have begun to be replaced by online shops.

Nonetheless

, I believe the replacement is a positive development. In the essay, I will provide examples and a conclusion of my opinion. The dual apparent advantage of

this

tendency can be derived from

customers

and store

owners

. On one hand,

customers

who purchase products only need a smartphone.

For example

, most of the youth buy clothes on online shopping platforms.

Moreover

, online shopping platforms help/facilitate/assist them to compare every detail of similar products.

Therefore

customers

can select the best deal when shopping.

On the other hand

, in the view of shop

owners

, they are able to save some outgoings of maintaining physical

stores

such

as the rent or the electric bill.

As a result

, online shopping is a win-win situation for both

customers

and store

owners

. In stark contrast, under the trend of vanishing physical purchasing experience, branding will be arduous to

be shaped

Wrong verb form

shape

show examples

in the short run because of insufficient interaction between consumers and vendors. To be more specific, as an enterprise, how to arouse the awareness of commercial image will become a critical event in the digital era

due to

low

Correct article usage

the low

show examples

degree of physical touch, leading to the increasing difficulty in winning

customers

’ trust.

According to

research from the prestigious National Taiwan University, people tend to be more rational

as well as

economical when it comes to product selections

due to

low levels of loyalty to some specific brands, resulting in higher competition in the business world.

Consequently

, as a vendor, the phenomenon of replacing physical shopping

Change preposition

with

show examples

online shopping is not a good sign in the long run owing to fierce competition among countless brands.

To sum up

, it is noticeable that online shopping definitely will substitute shopping in physical

stores

in the long run because of the inconvenience of physical

stores

and the expenditure on holding a store for the shop

owners

Therefore

, I reaffirmed that shopping via the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

offers a lot more benefits than drawbacks.

Submitted by cba8887 on Thu Sep 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea and that all examples are directly relevant to the points being made. Additionally, try to improve the coherence by using more varied linking words.

task achievement

Try to provide more balanced arguments for both sides if possible. While it's fine to take a stance, mentioning and addressing counterarguments more thoroughly would strengthen the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay is structured well with a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph is logically placed.

task achievement

The main points are clearly presented and generally well-supported with relevant examples.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

online shopping
shopping in stores
convenience
accessibility
wide variety
comparative pricing
crowds
queues
price comparison
returning and exchanging items
local businesses
personal interaction
sensory experience

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people think that qualities a person needs to become succesfull in today's world cannot be learned at university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some people argue that the qualities necessary for success in today's world cannot be acquired through formal education at universities or similar academic institutions. In my opinion, while traditional education can provide valuable knowledge and skills, there are certain qualities crucial for success that are best cultivated through real-world experiences and interactions.
6.5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes argued that high school should make voluntary community service a compulsory program. While i accept that such service can be beneficial, I believe enforcing it makes no sense.
5
band
Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not others. Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevent subjects should not receive the government funding Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantage
In the world of global problems we have a lot of useful and not majors. Therefore, more and more people argued that government must pay the cost of university for the ones who study relevant subjects, while for others, who choose more pointless classes, they should not make scholarships and grants. But this studying system has their own advantages and diasadvantages.
7.5
band
The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
Some believe that the essential role of education is to make children ready for the modern world, so it is not necessary to provide them with art and music classes ınstead they should focus on contemporary subjects. I disagree with the statement that we should cut out music and art to better prepare for the modern world and give more attention to classes such as information technology. This essay will explore several reasons for this matter.
5.5
band
Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are controversial notions heating up a debate over how to become fruitful in life. While some claim that the sole tactic to achieve high accomplishments is enrolling in colleges, the opposite makes a statement that it has a heavy dependence on alternative elements. While each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimized the best to combine both mentioned factors.

Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that qualities a person needs to become succesfull in today's world cannot be learned at university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?