Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Online shopping is one of the techniques that has grown dramatically in the past ten years, changing the consumption pattern of the whole society. Some of the countries’ physical
stores
have begun to be replaced by online shops. Nonetheless
, I believe the replacement is a positive development. In the essay, I will provide examples and a conclusion of my opinion.
The dual apparent advantage of this
tendency can be derived from customers
and store owners
. On one hand, customers
who purchase products only need a smartphone. For example
, most of the youth buy clothes on online shopping platforms. Moreover
, online shopping platforms help/facilitate/assist them to compare every detail of similar products. Therefore
, customers
can select the best deal when shopping. On the other hand
, in the view of shop owners
, they are able to save some outgoings of maintaining physical stores
such
as the rent or the electric bill. As a result
, online shopping is a win-win situation for both customers
and store owners
.
In stark contrast, under the trend of vanishing physical purchasing experience, branding will be arduous to be shaped
in the short run because of insufficient interaction between consumers and vendors. To be more specific, as an enterprise, how to arouse the awareness of commercial image will become a critical event in the digital era Wrong verb form
shape
due to
low
degree of physical touch, leading to the increasing difficulty in winning Correct article usage
the low
customers
’ trust. According to
research from the prestigious National Taiwan University, people tend to be more rational as well as
economical when it comes to product selections due to
low levels of loyalty to some specific brands, resulting in higher competition in the business world. Consequently
, as a vendor, the phenomenon of replacing physical shopping by
online shopping is not a good sign in the long run owing to fierce competition among countless brands.
Change preposition
with
To sum up
, it is noticeable that online shopping definitely will substitute shopping in physical stores
in the long run because of the inconvenience of physical stores
and the expenditure on holding a store for the shop owners
. Therefore
, I reaffirmed that shopping via the internet
offers a lot more benefits than drawbacks.Capitalize word
Internet
Submitted by cba8887 on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea and that all examples are directly relevant to the points being made. Additionally, try to improve the coherence by using more varied linking words.
task achievement
Try to provide more balanced arguments for both sides if possible. While it's fine to take a stance, mentioning and addressing counterarguments more thoroughly would strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured well with a clear introduction and conclusion, and each paragraph is logically placed.
task achievement
The main points are clearly presented and generally well-supported with relevant examples.