IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Parents have a responsibility to help children with their homework, but others believe children should do it on their own. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#parents #responsibility #children #homework
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parents
Use synonyms
 play a pivotal role in their
children
Use synonyms
’s development, particularly in academic aspects. Some people claim that
parents
Use synonyms
 should help their
children
Use synonyms
 to finish
tasks
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that it is not necessary for them and
children
Use synonyms
 have to mind their
tasks
Use synonyms
 by themselves. In my opinion, I believe that leaving
tasks
Use synonyms
 for their
children
Use synonyms
 can bring more positive developments,
whereas
Linking Words
 helping them leads to negative sides. Assisting
children
Use synonyms
 with their assignments would interfere with their improvement because it will hinder them from sharpening their skills and knowledge. They will effortlessly acquire better grades and complete their assignments quickly if they are provided with their
parents
Use synonyms
' help to give more detailed answers, which will make them become spoiled people since they are not capable of striving for themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
, most students in the US normally get a hand from their
parents
Use synonyms
 to complete their
tasks
Use synonyms
, making them struggle to understand and survive in the future since they will turn into overly dependent people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to be independent with their
tasks
Use synonyms
 will make them smarter as it can increase their curiosity to explore the subjects more deeply.
This
Linking Words
 way they can delve into the
tasks
Use synonyms
 and hone their problem-solving skills To exemplify, one of my friends who consistently carries out her
tasks
Use synonyms
 by herself without getting help from her
parents
Use synonyms
 becomes the smartest person in the class and well-equipped in all domains.
Thus
Linking Words
, the more independent they are, the more opportunities they have to explore and improve by themselves.
To conclude
Linking Words
, facilitating
children
Use synonyms
 with assistance in their homework would certainly benefit them, which can save more time and obtain a higher mark.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, leaving them to be independent with their assignments will provide them with more chances to grow gradually.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, you can reference studies or statistics about parental involvement in homework and its effects.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You have done well, but there's room for stronger linking words between some ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion and presents the two sides and your opinion clearly.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical structure with points presented for both sides of the argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have clearly expressed complete and comprehensive ideas, making your stance on the topic clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: