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Band 2.5

Many people believe there should be a curfew law so that people under the age of 18 are not out past midnight. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #curfew #law #age #midnight
Many
people
 claim that rules should be more severe towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
, as a results teenager under 18
should't
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shouldn't
should
 spend their free time away from the home. I truly
Correct your spelling
believe
bieleve
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believe
 that younger
people
 should have an access to coming back even after midnight.
For
Change preposition
The
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first
,
adolescenthood
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adolescent hood
 is linked with many duties and passions. During that time young
people
 discover their
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strengths
strenghts
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strengths
,
furthermore
 can become job-seekers.
For example
, many
employee
Change to a plural noun
employees
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 offer a job as a
weiter
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writer
waiter
 under 18, as far we know plenty of
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restaurants
restaurant
restaurast
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restaurants
close
Change the verb form
closes
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 their door after midnight, so sometimes it is necessary for them to come back late at home.
Subsequent
Add an article
The subsequent
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 argument is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
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apply
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scientist
confirm
Change the verb form
confirms
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 that puberty may be very tough
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course
couse
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because
people
 are more
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sensitive
sensitve
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sensitive
 and stressed in that case
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
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 is very relevant. For an instance, in many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
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 we can find
an events
Correct the article-noun agreement
an event
events
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 which are organised by cinemas, a well
night clubs
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nightclubs
show examples
 directly
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 from 16 years old.
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Aforementioned
Aformentioned
Correct article usage
The aformentioned
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 events usually finish late
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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 an opportunity to hang out with friends.
On the other hand
, too much free time
under
Change preposition
at
show examples
 midnight may have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 influence on young society, because some of them may
Unnecessary verb
apply
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have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
 get involved in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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illegal
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organisations
organistations
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organisations
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 consequence be expelled from school.
Neverthelles
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Nevertheless
, If
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parents
parent
parental
parenta
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parents
 underline the
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boundaries
boundries
Correct your spelling
boundaries
 they will know what they can afford. To sum up, for the sake
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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