Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Secretly monitoring through cameras or cell phones the public’s movements and actions becoming popular day by day.

While

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this

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can prevent safety for society ,

privacy

Use synonyms

can be easily destroyed. Technology has played an important role in our lives. Most communities rely on it for various reasons,

such

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as working and travelling.

However

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, when it is being used to monitor

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people, It is necessary to draw a line between

privacy

Use synonyms

and safety. Tracking the community in public or in a personal area is acceptable,

for example

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, using a security monitor can prevent the criminal.

According to

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the Thailand, the burglar most likely chose to rob the house without a security camera rather than one with a camera.

This

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is because their face will be captured by a monitor .

Therefore

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, the police can easily track the thief and arrest them.

On the other hand

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, the government must respect

privacy

Use synonyms

. I believe that no one should be tracked when they are not in public.

For instance

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, surfing the internet should not be tracked by any authority. There should be

privacy

Use synonyms

as long as the public is not causing any harm to the public.

Furthermore

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, the information

that is

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from tracking a person has been used for various reasons without human consent,

such

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as their browsing history. It is being used to adjust an advertisement to make it most related so that there is more chance the product can be sold. In conclusion, there has to be a line between

privacy

Use synonyms

and safety. The information should not be acquired without consent.

makemoneyizzy16Wed Mar 19 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to maintain a clear and logical structure in your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by explanations and examples. Consider using topic sentences to guide the reader.

task achievement

Expand on your ideas to provide clearer and more comprehensive explanations. Some concepts could use further development for better clarity and depth.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples that directly relate to your arguments. This will strengthen your points and provide better context for the reader.

task achievement

Good attempt at discussing both advantages and disadvantages.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents a relevant conclusion that summarizes the key message.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some people believe that children who are given pocket money every week have less problems managing money when they become adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to suppor

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of politicians, rather than individuals, to reduce the world's environmental damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Discuss a time that you made a decision based on data. How did the data influence a good or bad decision making process? Make sure to choose an example and to describe it in such a way that clearly illustrates your analytical and problem-solving abilities. Limit your response to 300 words