Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Secretly monitoring through cameras or cell phones the public’s movements and actions becoming popular day by day.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
can prevent safety for society ,
privacy
Use synonyms
can be easily destroyed. Technology has played an important role in our lives. Most communities rely on it for various reasons,
such
Linking Words
as working and travelling.
However
Linking Words
, when it is being used to monitor
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people, It is necessary to draw a line between
privacy
Use synonyms
and safety. Tracking the community in public or in a personal area is acceptable,
for example
Linking Words
, using a security monitor can prevent the criminal.
According to
Linking Words
the Thailand, the burglar most likely chose to rob the house without a security camera rather than one with a camera.
This
Linking Words
is because their face will be captured by a monitor .
Therefore
Linking Words
, the police can easily track the thief and arrest them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government must respect
privacy
Use synonyms
. I believe that no one should be tracked when they are not in public.
For instance
Linking Words
, surfing the internet should not be tracked by any authority. There should be
privacy
Use synonyms
as long as the public is not causing any harm to the public.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the information
that is
Linking Words
from tracking a person has been used for various reasons without human consent,
such
Linking Words
as their browsing history. It is being used to adjust an advertisement to make it most related so that there is more chance the product can be sold. In conclusion, there has to be a line between
privacy
Use synonyms
and safety. The information should not be acquired without consent.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear and logical structure in your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by explanations and examples. Consider using topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas to provide clearer and more comprehensive explanations. Some concepts could use further development for better clarity and depth.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples that directly relate to your arguments. This will strengthen your points and provide better context for the reader.
task achievement
Good attempt at discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a relevant conclusion that summarizes the key message.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: