IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in the number of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people
In today’s world, with the growing
population
, the number of old
people
 will increase and communities around the world have to take
care
 of them. I believe,
people
 can deal with
this
 action and be able to find an efficient plan which has benefits for everyone and
this
 essay will discuss two ways of that.
To begin
 with, there is no doubt that by increasing the
population
 of elderly
people
 the
government
 should build more healthcare places for them.
Therefore
, those
people
 should not have any concerns about their living
place
 when they are old.
For example
, one of my friends before his immigration was looking for a
place
 to move his grandma, and they found a nice
place
 which was free because it was for the
government
 to take
care
 of his grandma.
Thus
, having a home for aged
people
 in each neighbourhood can guarantee an acceptable
place
 for you to live when you get old.
In addition
, politicians and the
government
 of each country can use their elderly
population
 in some useful ways, because, one-by-one of those
people
 had work and profession before which will make them a teacher with high experience.
For instance
, when I was in grade one our teacher was older than the normal teachers in that school but she taught us every lesson better than any employees on that education board, because of her experience.
As a result
, every company or the
government
 should look to those
people
 as a priceless source of knowledge. To conclude, with increasing the
population
 the rate of old
people
 will grow too. In my opinion, each society should take
care
 of them with detailed planning
such
 as building more places to take
care
 of them and using their experience in a good way.
Submitted by jaberi.mahyar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: