Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Few
people
around the globe think that foreign
sports
events
play a significant role in promoting peace and stability in the nation.
This
essay agrees that
good-will
Correct your spelling
goodwill
show examples
and development will occur through international
sports
festivals.
Certainly
Add a comma
,Certainly
show examples
people
enjoy different
sports
events
and like to support their respective country and sportsman.
Likewise
,
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
sports
gala,
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
friendly relationship among various countries. Both my views will be discussed in
this
essay with relevant instances.
Peaceful
Correct article usage
A peaceful
show examples
environment and hospitality would be promoted through international sporting ceremonies and
events
, where
people
gathered,
shared
Correct word choice
and shared
show examples
unity and patriotism to support
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their own countries. Many veteran fans even buy expensive tickets to travel around the world to encourage their favourite sportsman.
For instance
, in
FIFA
Correct article usage
the FIFA
show examples
world cup, cricket tournaments or Olympic games,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
of teams and players participates from different
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the globe, flourish friendly and peaceful atmosphere.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
such
events
are
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
source of enthusiasm and entertainment for some time from the monotony of life.
Furthermore
, due to
such
events
Add a comma
,events
show examples
many nations can build a healthy
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
which is important for the prosperity and growth of the country.
For example
scheduled cricket tournaments between two countries like Srilanka or Pakistan, not only for the practice or warmup matches but
also
create a good relationship among the leaders. To
sum-up
Correct your spelling
sum up
show examples
, internationally organized
sports
events
contribute
friendly
Change preposition
to friendly
show examples
and stable
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
as well as a source of entertainment for the
people
.
Submitted by ngnrpro on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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