IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence

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Music
Use synonyms
 helps
people
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 to relax the
mind
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, forget sorrows and it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
Use synonyms
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
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 refresh irrespective of its kind and language.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 some
people
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 believe that traditional
music
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 is more important compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
widely accepted international
music
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. In
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
my
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 opinion,
Music
Use synonyms
 does not have language and one can listen
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
 enjoy any type of
music
Use synonyms
 according to his/her preferences.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some songs concur the
people
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's
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 irrespective of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 type. there are many local songs which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 widely accepted by everyone.
for example
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,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 Tamil song "Enjoy Anjami" went viral all over the world, and
people
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 across the globe
listened
Add the preposition
tolistened
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this
Linking Words
 song even though they do not understand the lyrics.
This
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 shows that
music
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 does not have any
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
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.
Secondly
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,
people
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 who claim
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
importance
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 traditional
music
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 are worried about the extinction of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
music
Use synonyms
. They fear that
people
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 will follow widely accepted
music
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 and
hence
Linking Words
 nobody will be interested to learn traditional
music
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.
However
Linking Words
, if the creation is excellent,
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
music
Correct article usage
the music
show examples
 will be accepted by
public
Add an article
the public
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.
For example
Linking Words
, traditional African samba
music
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 is getting wide popularity because of the creativity generated by the local musicians. To summarise,
Music
Use synonyms
 is about creativity and musicians need to focus more on pleasant and
Use synonyms
Add a hyphen
mind-blowing
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mind blowing
Add a hyphen
mind-blowing
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 creations.
This
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 will genuinely help to nurture traditional
music
Use synonyms
 in the
mind
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 of
young
Add an article
the young
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 generation and
hence
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 will
also
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 become
pride
Add an article
a pride
show examples
 to the country.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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