Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that schools should focus on teaching
students
academic
subjects
as it is helpful for their career prospects.
However
, others say that non-academic
subjects
like music and sports are more essential. Personally, while the former seems reasonable to me, the latter is more convincing. Nowadays, it is readily apparent that companies pay attention to
students
’ educational
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. One of the salient illustrations of
this
is that newly graduated
students
lack experience, so those
students
who have high grades in high schools or universities have more advantages than those without good degrees.
In addition
, those academic
subjects
can help
students
have technical expertise that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them get high-paid salaries easily and decent jobs.
On the other hand
, some companies
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
appreciate
students
’ interpersonal
skills
. Albeit conceding the merits of academic
subjects
, non-academic
subjects
have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own benefits and it needs to be more concentrated. Those non-academic
subjects
like music and art can attribute essential
skills
that are needed for the entertainment industry, which is a thriving industry nowadays.
This
industry is a bustling
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market and it will develop strongly in the
next
decades.
In addition
, sports - one of
non-academic
Add an article
the non-academic
show examples
subjects
- can help
students
have
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
interpersonal
skills
that employers
also
require,
such
as teamwork
skills
and
collaborating
Replace the word
collaboration
show examples
. In conclusion, I think that
although
academic
subjects
seem helpful for
students
’ careers, non-academic should be more appreciated because of the mentioned merits. In my opinion, schools should strike a balance between academic and non-academic
subjects
to help
students
become
fully-developed
Correct your spelling
fully developed
show examples
.
Submitted by vuanhhibstrading on

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