IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some older people struggle with the use of modern electronic technology such as smartphone and computers. Write the cause and propose the solution.

#people #struggle #technology #smartphone #computers
As
technology
 advanced, more and more
people
 need to
use
 them to connect with their friends or surf the internet to know some news and so on. But some older
people
 have problems using modern electronic
technology
. The reasons are probably because they lack someone to teach them or they do not want to
use
 these new technologies. Children of older
people
 are having families or are busy with their careers. After one day's hard work, they only want to have some leisure time for themselves. While older
people
 normally study slowly, their child is lacking the patience to teach them. My mom always does not know how to
use
 scanning
technology
. I taught her many times but she still does not understand. One day, I brought her to the grocery store and taught her carefully. Half an hour later, she
finally
 knew how to
use
 it by herself. Cutting-edge
technology
 attracts most of the youngest, they believe it could help them knew more and could do most things efficiently.
However
, older men do not think so. They were used to the old
technology
 and do not want to change. My father always complains about why
people
 like to read the news on computers or smartphones. He likes to buy and read the newspaper every day. In my view, the company of smartphones or computers should produce a bigger typeface product for older
people
 and arrange some specific stuff to teach the old men who buy the product.
Submitted by attention.qq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital divide
  • cognitive function
  • technological advancement
  • user-friendly
  • senior learners
  • formative years
  • navigation
  • evolution
  • educational resources
  • tailored programs
  • intergenerational
  • accessibility features
  • overwhelming
  • interface
  • usability
  • obstacles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: