Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development.

When it comes to whether it is good for elderly
citizens
to live in
retirement
communities
or not, opinions divide, with some
people
believing that old
people
are able to have a good time with their old friends, while others maintain that it's better for them to live with their
children
. From my perspective, I agree with the latter point of view and contend that it is a negative phenomenon. Mentally, living without the company of their
children
makes elderly
citizens
feel lonely. It is widely accepted that old
people
are outdated in our society to some extent. To be specific, most of them don't know how to use the latest technology to entertain themselves,
such
as chatting with their friends on WeChat, playing computer games and so on.
Therefore
, elderly
citizens
usually have nothing to do except
makeing
Correct your spelling
making
meals for themselves. Under
such
circumstances, the company of their family
members
becomes more and more precious. Physically, it's not safe for old
people
to live in
retirement
communities
. Nowadays, more and more criminals turn their eyes to elderly
citizens
, because they are not able to distinguish what is true and what isn't. In
this
case, their
children
have to help them avoid being defrauded.
Besides
, old
people
are more likely to suffer from all kinds of diseases. It will be more convenient for them to live with their kids if they encounter any difficulties.
On the other hand
, opponents may argue that elderly
citizens
are able to have more free time for themselves by living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement
communities
. Nowadays, old
people
who live with their
children
still need to take great responsibility for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
even if they are already retired. To be specific, they are asked to take care of their grandkids, make meals for family
members
and so on, but the situation will be
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
if they live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement
communities
. Under
such
circumstances, the only person they need to take care of
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
themselves.
Therefore
, they have much more time and energy to do whatever they like,
such
as chatting with old friends, playing chess with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
and dancing in the square.
However
, they don't consider that old
people
are still likely to feel lonely without the company of their family
members
. All in all, despite some
people
believing that old
people
are able to have fun in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement
communities
, I still hold the firm belief that it is better for them to live with their family
members
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because doing so is beneficial for them both mentally and physically.
Submitted by 18758021387 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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