Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development.

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

When it comes to whether it is good for elderly

citizens

to live in

retirement

communities

or not, opinions divide, with some

people

believing that old

people

are able to have a good time with their old friends, while others maintain that it's better for them to live with their

children

. From my perspective, I agree with the latter point of view and contend that it is a negative phenomenon. Mentally, living without the company of their

children

makes elderly

citizens

feel lonely. It is widely accepted that old

people

are outdated in our society to some extent. To be specific, most of them don't know how to use the latest technology to entertain themselves,

such

as chatting with their friends on WeChat, playing computer games and so on.

Therefore

, elderly

citizens

usually have nothing to do except

makeing

Correct your spelling

making

meals for themselves. Under

such

circumstances, the company of their family

members

becomes more and more precious. Physically, it's not safe for old

people

to live in

retirement

communities

. Nowadays, more and more criminals turn their eyes to elderly

citizens

, because they are not able to distinguish what is true and what isn't. In

this

case, their

children

have to help them avoid being defrauded.

Besides

, old

people

are more likely to suffer from all kinds of diseases. It will be more convenient for them to live with their kids if they encounter any difficulties.

On the other hand

, opponents may argue that elderly

citizens

are able to have more free time for themselves by living in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirement

communities

. Nowadays, old

people

who live with their

children

still need to take great responsibility for their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

even if they are already retired. To be specific, they are asked to take care of their grandkids, make meals for family

members

and so on, but the situation will be

opposite

Correct article usage

the opposite

show examples

if they live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirement

communities

. Under

such

circumstances, the only person they need to take care of

Correct your spelling

show examples

themselves.

Therefore

, they have much more time and energy to do whatever they like,

such

as chatting with old friends, playing chess with

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

and dancing in the square.

However

, they don't consider that old

people

are still likely to feel lonely without the company of their family

members

. All in all, despite some

people

believing that old

people

are able to have fun in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirement

communities

, I still hold the firm belief that it is better for them to live with their family

members

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because doing so is beneficial for them both mentally and physically.

Submitted by 18758021387 on Tue Oct 25 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

425 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?