-Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?
A lot of offenders commit
further
crimes as soon as they are released from prison. In my opinion, the government has a fundamental role to prevent and control the condition. This
essay will not only highlight the problem associated with the issue but also
present some potential options to resolve it.
To begin
with, there are some reasons why offenders doing
more crimes after they are discharged from confinement. Verb problem
commit
First,
prison does not guarantee that criminals will be better after they are punished because imprisoned
just prevents crime physically not mentally. So, criminal still has a dark mind or negative behaviour after they are released from prison. Replace the word
imprisonment
Second,
offenders have economic problems. They do not earn the money outside which means they are poor, uneducated, and lack of skills to get a job. For example
, they will have an obstacle passing the administration selection when they try to get a job because of criminal records.
However
, the government should concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
to find
solutions. They should find creative and innovative solutions to help them. Since the problems are not only physical but Change preposition
with finding
also
mental. For instance
, programs such
as providing a regular schedule for them to have counselling from psychologists can help them better mentally. So, they get positive vibes to affect their behaviour after exiting from jail. Furthermore
, they have another option to implement periodic group discussions which are facilitated by professionals or motivators. The objective of this
program is to share their feeling and emotion with their friends in a positive way, so they have the same direction to become good people.
In conclusion, lockup is not just punishment but it also
has to become a meditation place where they can rest their minds and think about the corrective responses to their cruel acts. It has to be supported by the government because the programs will affect the civilization and social condition.Submitted by keamplop on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why offenders commit further crimes after being released from prison and suggesting possible solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview of the essay's content.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective in setting up the discussion and summarizing the main points.