-Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

A lot of offenders commit

further

crimes as soon as they are released from prison. In my opinion, the government has a fundamental role to prevent and control the condition.

This

essay will not only highlight the problem associated with the issue but

also

present some potential options to resolve it.

To begin

with, there are some reasons why offenders

doing

Verb problem

commit

show examples

more crimes after they are discharged from confinement.

First,

prison does not guarantee that criminals will be better after they are punished because

imprisoned

Replace the word

imprisonment

show examples

just prevents crime physically not mentally. So, criminal still has a dark mind or negative behaviour after they are released from prison.

Second,

offenders have economic problems. They do not earn the money outside which means they are poor, uneducated, and lack of skills to get a job.

For example

, they will have an obstacle passing the administration selection when they try to get a job because of criminal records.

However

, the government should

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

show examples

to find

Change preposition

with finding

show examples

solutions. They should find creative and innovative solutions to help them. Since the problems are not only physical but

also

mental.

For instance

, programs

such

as providing a regular schedule for them to have counselling from psychologists can help them better mentally. So, they get positive vibes to affect their behaviour after exiting from jail.

Furthermore

, they have another option to implement periodic group discussions which are facilitated by professionals or motivators. The objective of

this

program is to share their feeling and emotion with their friends in a positive way, so they have the same direction to become good people. In conclusion, lockup is not just punishment but it

also

has to become a meditation place where they can rest their minds and think about the corrective responses to their cruel acts. It has to be supported by the government because the programs will affect the civilization and social condition.

Submitted by keamplop on Tue Oct 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why offenders commit further crimes after being released from prison and suggesting possible solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview of the essay's content.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effective in setting up the discussion and summarizing the main points.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Describe how your primary school education looks like?
Elementary school is one of the base educations we have as we were a child. There are two types of elementary school, those are Public School and Private school. Personally, I was study in Private elementary school which was located in Yogyakarta, Indonesia. It was called SD Kanisius, the school was a catholic-based education school which most of the students are non-moslem. The school contains 6 classes only with each class defined each grade in Elementary School education system, for instance let’s say it is “Class 1” so the class belongs to the first grader and so on.
8
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?
In many states, more and more citizens are tilt intrigued to discover the past story of their properties, particularly the place in which they reside. There are some reasons and how people uncover this happen.
5
band
Water scarcity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? And what solutions can be done by individuals and the government?
Water crisis has become a global vital issue. Overpopulation is one of many reasons why water has become scarce, due to its demand increased over the century, directly or indirectly. This essay would discuss about how the individuals and the government should play their part to solve this problem.
6
band
Some believe that people today have no interests in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
several people's view in terms of culture is that these days, folks aren't keen on preserving the conventional culture of their national origin. That said, some others' perspective is different, they believe that the importance of culture is still alive among people. I think that some parts of the culture like beliefs and attitudes are exposed to changes for diverse reasons. In this essay, I will argue both views and give my opinion.
5
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, admission fees have become a necessity in a large number of museums, whereas some of them do not need them. In my opinion, the former trend has more upsides as it can help these institutions to sustain and improve themselves.

-Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Describe how your primary school education looks like?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Water scarcity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? And what solutions can be done by individuals and the government?

Some believe that people today have no interests in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?