-Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A lot of offenders commit

further

Linking Words

crimes as soon as they are released from prison. In my opinion, the government has a fundamental role to prevent and control the condition.

This

Linking Words

essay will not only highlight the problem associated with the issue but

also

Linking Words

present some potential options to resolve it.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are some reasons why offenders

doing

Verb problem

commit

show examples

more crimes after they are discharged from confinement.

First,

Linking Words

prison does not guarantee that criminals will be better after they are punished because

imprisoned

Replace the word

imprisonment

show examples

just prevents crime physically not mentally. So, criminal still has a dark mind or negative behaviour after they are released from prison.

Second,

Linking Words

offenders have economic problems. They do not earn the money outside which means they are poor, uneducated, and lack of skills to get a job.

For example

Linking Words

, they will have an obstacle passing the administration selection when they try to get a job because of criminal records.

However

Linking Words

, the government should

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

show examples

to find

Change preposition

with finding

show examples

solutions. They should find creative and innovative solutions to help them. Since the problems are not only physical but

also

Linking Words

mental.

For instance

Linking Words

, programs

such

Linking Words

as providing a regular schedule for them to have counselling from psychologists can help them better mentally. So, they get positive vibes to affect their behaviour after exiting from jail.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they have another option to implement periodic group discussions which are facilitated by professionals or motivators. The objective of

this

Linking Words

program is to share their feeling and emotion with their friends in a positive way, so they have the same direction to become good people. In conclusion, lockup is not just punishment but it

also

Linking Words

has to become a meditation place where they can rest their minds and think about the corrective responses to their cruel acts. It has to be supported by the government because the programs will affect the civilization and social condition.

Submitted by keamplop on Tue Oct 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why offenders commit further crimes after being released from prison and suggesting possible solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview of the essay's content.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effective in setting up the discussion and summarizing the main points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?
Many people work hard to have a successful life. However, the meaning of success is not the same for everyone and it can be different things to different people. In my personal opinion, I will consider success to be either about the workplace, family, and finally personal achievements.
6.5
band
It is often argued that as nuclear technology threatens the peace of the world, it should be restricted.
It is often argued that as nuclear technology threatens the peace of the world, it should be restricted. From my perspective, this viewpoint is not entirely convincing as nuclear development can offer substantial advantages to society.
5.5
band
Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?
It is mirror to the society. In any form, whether visual, audio, print or telecommunication, it presents before us the true account of various issues related to politics, technology, sports and many more. Nowadays it is common to know current affairs through the Internet instead of television or print paper. This is largely a positive development. This essay intends to explain the reasons that can be attributed to the given statement.
8
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compare with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, in some parts of the world young adults are the majority of the population, and elderly people are the minority. While there are both advantages and disadvantages associated with this demographic situation, the positive aspects take precedence over the drawbacks.
7
band
In some countries it is now illigal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
These days, the laws for working in countries are various. For example, in some countries, age must not be a factor for obtaining workers. In my opinion, this is a negative happening due to the fact that the young generations' job opportunities reduced, and the efficiency of companies has declined.

-Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

It is often argued that as nuclear technology threatens the peace of the world, it should be restricted.

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compare with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries it is now illigal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?