IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to work the same type of job throughout their lifetime while others like to change the type of job they do. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #work #type #job #lifetime #change
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In today’s fast-paced and ever-changing world, the debate over whether it is better to stick to
one
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type
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 of
job
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 throughout
one
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’s lifetime or to switch careers has become increasingly relevant. Both perspectives have their own merits and drawbacks, and
individuals
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’ preferences often depend on their personal values and life goals. On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, there are those who prefer to
work
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 in the same
type
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 of
job
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 for their entire lives.
This
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 approach offers a sense of stability and security, as
individuals
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 become experts in their field and can progress to higher positions within the same industry.
Moreover
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, they may feel a sense of
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 and satisfaction from mastering a specific skill set and making significant contributions to their chosen field.
On the other hand
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, there are
individuals
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 who thrive on change and enjoy exploring different career paths. They may find that changing jobs allows them to acquire new skills, broaden their knowledge, and experience diverse
work
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 environments.
This
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 flexibility can lead to personal growth and a more dynamic and enriched professional life.
Furthermore
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, changing jobs can provide
individuals
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 with the opportunity to pursue their passions and find greater
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 in their
work
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.In my opinion,
while
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 there are benefits to both approaches, I believe that the decision to stick to
one
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type
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 of
job
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 or to change careers should ultimately be based on individual preferences and circumstances. Some people may find
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 and success in a lifelong career in a specific field,
while
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 others may find that changing jobs allows them to lead a more fulfilling and diverse professional life. Ultimately, it is important for
individuals
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 to assess their own values, interests, and goals when making
this
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 decision. In conclusion, the debate over whether to
work
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 in the same
type
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 of
job
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 throughout
one
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’s lifetime or to change careers is a complex and personal
one
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. Both approaches have their own advantages, and
individuals
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 should carefully consider their own values and goals when making
this
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 decision.
Submitted by angelacalcaterra46 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is elaborated upon with sufficient detail. While your essay is well-structured, a bit more depth in explanation can add to the clarity.
coherence cohesion
There was a small run-on sentence that could be improved for better readability. For example, in the sentence "Furthermore, changing jobs can provide individuals with the opportunity to pursue their passions and find greater fulfillment in their work.In my opinion...", adding a break will help (e.g., "...in their work. In my opinion...").
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure. Both viewpoints are discussed thoroughly, and you have presented a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a strong start and finish to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and detailed, making your arguments compelling and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the essay prompt, discussing both views and giving your opinion in a thoughtful manner.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented and comprehensible, which makes your essay easy to read and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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