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Writing Samples
Band 7

Mobile phones should be banned in public places, Up to what extent do you agree/disagree?

#phones #places
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It is not easy to find anyone who does not own a mobile
phone
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 in
this
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 day and age. Even smartphone devices are there in everyone's hand rather than a so-called sophisticated
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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.
Therefore
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, it is a controversial decision to ban them in public places even though it has some positive aspects on society.
Firstly
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, I would look into the positive consequence on society
as a result
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 of the aforementioned ban. Generally, public places include roads, bus halts, shopping centres, schools, recreational parks and so on where
people
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 get together for personal reasons or contemporary gatherings. If
people
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 are restricted from mobile phones, they will tend to speak to each other as same as 2 decades ago when we used. It will help to strengthen human relationships which nowadays, seem to be not valuable though. In turn, socialization will emerge automatically bringing up good mental health without a higher number of isolated
people
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. Because there will be someone to talk to rather than searching for solutions on the internet.
Moreover
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, accidents caused by carelessness will be reduced because most of them have been reported due to being on a call.
However
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, I do not believe that
people
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 would agree to restrictions on mobile
phone
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 use since it has become an integral part of our lives now. So, even though, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement to some extent, there is a great concern regarding its practical use. To conclude, rather than going for a ban,
people
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 can make aware of the bad outcomes of excessive use and the problem with public places when using a
phone
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.
Submitted by iroshajanaki on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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