IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #children #team #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sport is one of the compulsory subjects in almost academic curriculums thanks to its significant benefits. Some people argue that children learn how to compete while others believe that sport enhances their teamwork. On the one hand, sporty games push participants to compete with others to get a victory. In many cases, winning and achieving the trophy is the prominent aim of related players. There is no disputing the fact that children are required to practice skills and wipe out the rival party in volleyball matches
for example
Linking Words
.
Besides
Linking Words
, it is an unfortunate fact that they do lots of practice to have their names listed in the official team. To put it another way, attending sports, players are said to compete within their club and with outsiders.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they, to some extent, learn how to cooperate with other team members. All of them share a common and clear goal to get the victory,
thus
Linking Words
 supporting each other. Take football,
for example
Linking Words
, two defenders standing close to the net to protect their home net along with the goal while attackers are aggressive in order to score their rival's goal. A substantial group can not be formed without a lack of unity among members.
As a result
Linking Words
, every single individual has a sense of belonging to a group to work collaboratively and
then
Linking Words
 gain triumph together. In conclusion, I am convinced that a sports player might take advantage of
this
Linking Words
 activity to learn both competition and teamwork which are equally important.
Submitted by dothiha93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: