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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some children spend hours on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, new technologies
such
Linking Words
 as
smartphones
Use synonyms
 are used daily for several hours per day by
kids
Use synonyms
. There are many factors that led to
this
Linking Words
 situation to happen. One of them is that the children can communicate with each other outside of
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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. Another reason is how many capabilities they offer. In my opinion, it is a positive development. The main reason why it is beneficial for
kids
Use synonyms
 is that they can keep in touch with their peers.
Smartphones
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 make it possible to write anytime to anyone you want. That way they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 lose contact with each other when they,
for instance
Linking Words
, get sick and are stuck at home. Developing good relations with classmates at a young age is essential for well-functioning in society in other stages of life. As statistics show, most thieves, small law-breakers or even murderers did not have fine relations with peers at
young
Add an article
a young
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 age.
Also
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, most school shooters as it turns out are mentally stable, it is just the fact that they were disrespected or bullied in school by other students that makes them commit
such
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 serious crimes. So keeping in touch using
smartphones
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 and improving your relations with them can be very beneficial for not only you but
also
Linking Words
 for society. Another,
also
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 positive aspect of
smartphones
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 being used
in
Change preposition
for
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such
Linking Words
 a high quantity of hours,
are
Change the verb form
is
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 the endless things it has to offer for
kids
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. From countless mobile games and social media to apps that are used to educate and broaden horizons. Phones
also
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 have web browsers built
in
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into
show examples
 them so basically, they can be used for anything. Comparing that to traditional forms of entertainment or information, it is much more fun.
In other words
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, these days
smartphones
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 can be used for everything and they can be really useful if used correctly. In conclusion, I think that
this
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 growing trend of phones getting used more and more by
kids
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 daily will bring positive outcomes.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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