IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
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It is thought that the
Internet
 these days has turned into
mainstream
Add an article
the mainstream
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 in our society;
besides
,
newspapers
 are considered outdated and antiquated. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
 notion and my supporting reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion. All the outset, there are several merits of using the
Internet
instead
 of
newspapers
 and one of the most significant is it easy to search. To elaborate
further
, individuals can find and surf their
news
 at the click of a button, and
thus
 they will get what they are looking for in a second.
Moreover
,
news
 on online or social media is always updated because they do not need to wait to be printed out and distributed to communities like
newspapers
. An apt illustration of
this
 is my father used to read
newspapers
 every day a couple of years ago;
however
, after he bought his new phone that could access
to
Change preposition
apply
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the
Internet
, he changed his regular routine from reading those
newspapers
 to surfing the
Internet
 to find daily
news
instead
.
In addition
, he told me that it was faster and updated all the time, no need to wait until tomorrow to read the new ones.
Additionally
, another clear upside of using
this
 new technology is that the population can compare
news
 with a number of sources. To explain in greater detail, there are plenty of sources
such
 as publishing companies' websites, blogs, pages, etc. available on the
Internet
.
Furthermore
, people can ensure by
cross checking
Add a hyphen
cross-checking
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 that a piece of
news
 they received at that time is fake or not. To specifically demonstrate,
last
 week, I came across a piece of
news
 on my Facebook about a new AI software for calculating the strength of reinforced concrete columns which in turn I swiftly looked into the Civil Engineer Council website for
this
 topic.
Consequently
, there was no article about it and
then
 I realised that it was all fake. All in all, it is undeniable that the
Internet
 is now more popular and it almost replacing
newspapers
, which
becomes
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 a thing of the past. From my point of view, I agree with
this
 idea as it provides us with accessibility to tons of sources
as well as
 readers can compare the
news
 to dependable sites in order to make sure that they are not fake.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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task achievement
Provide a bit more development for some supporting points, mainly to add depth and ensure every point is thoroughly explained.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures to enhance engagement and readability. Consider combining shorter sentences and occasionally using complex structures to improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for guiding the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making your arguments convincing and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with each paragraph focusing on a specific idea, which helps in maintaining coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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