IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people think that increasing communication usuage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #communication #usuage #computers #phones #effect #skills
There are individuals who hold a view that the increase in
communication
 on the internet and with mobile phones affects both the reading and writing literacy of the young generation. I agree with
this
 argument that the advancement in digitalisation has brought fewer opportunities for writing to young
people
,
while
 young
people
 spend considerable time reading regardless of the format of media. The immense development in information technology has enabled us a variety of
communication
 platforms on the internet and mobile phones, including SNS and blogs.
Subsequently
, the opportunity to write on paper has significantly decreased.
For example
, a calligraphy class, which was taught as one of the major educational programs in Japanese schools, has been replaced by a computer programming class which students need to enhance their typing skills.
However
, it can be considered as the transition of our necessities in terms of
communication
 literacy,
while
 the importance of traditional customs should be taught by elderly
people
.
On the other hand
, regarding the reading ability of the young generation, there are countless materials on the internet which young
people
 need to understand rapidly,
such
 as online news and online dictionaries.
Moreover
, reading behaviour will never change, like e-book devices are significantly popular worldwide, as many
people
 comprehend that reading ability is fundamental to live in the future,
while
 technology is developing day by day. In summary, there is an evident development in digital
communication
 by computers and mobile phones nowadays.
Consequently
, young
people
 obtain fewer opportunities for writing, compared to the previous generation.
However
, I wholeheartedly believe that we need to enhance our
communication
 literacy to adapt to the advancement in digitalisation.
Nevertheless
, reading ability is significantly important for all generations to enrich their lives in the future.
Submitted by taekojb77 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but could further elaborate on how digital communication specifically affects writing skills. Provide more concrete examples and data to back your argument.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion, yet it could benefit from better transitions and clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your points effectively.
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