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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people think that increasing communication usuage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #communication #usuage #computers #phones #effect #skills
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There are individuals who hold a view that the increase in
communication
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 on the internet and with mobile phones affects both the reading and writing literacy of the young generation. I agree with
this
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 argument that the advancement in digitalisation has brought fewer opportunities for writing to young
people
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,
while
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 young
people
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 spend considerable time reading regardless of the format of media. The immense development in information technology has enabled us a variety of
communication
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 platforms on the internet and mobile phones, including SNS and blogs.
Subsequently
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, the opportunity to write on paper has significantly decreased.
For example
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, a calligraphy class, which was taught as one of the major educational programs in Japanese schools, has been replaced by a computer programming class which students need to enhance their typing skills.
However
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, it can be considered as the transition of our necessities in terms of
communication
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 literacy,
while
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 the importance of traditional customs should be taught by elderly
people
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.
On the other hand
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, regarding the reading ability of the young generation, there are countless materials on the internet which young
people
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 need to understand rapidly,
such
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 as online news and online dictionaries.
Moreover
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, reading behaviour will never change, like e-book devices are significantly popular worldwide, as many
people
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 comprehend that reading ability is fundamental to live in the future,
while
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 technology is developing day by day. In summary, there is an evident development in digital
communication
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 by computers and mobile phones nowadays.
Consequently
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, young
people
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 obtain fewer opportunities for writing, compared to the previous generation.
However
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, I wholeheartedly believe that we need to enhance our
communication
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 literacy to adapt to the advancement in digitalisation.
Nevertheless
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, reading ability is significantly important for all generations to enrich their lives in the future.
Submitted by taekojb77 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but could further elaborate on how digital communication specifically affects writing skills. Provide more concrete examples and data to back your argument.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion, yet it could benefit from better transitions and clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your points effectively.
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