Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discussion both sides and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few citizens opine that ecological concerns have to be clarified globally
while
Linking Words
others argue that it can be rectified
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the country itself. I believe that both are essential for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sustainable development so I will be exhibiting my idea in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
certainly it is important to conduct a global committee to make sure
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
is protected. Because only with the involvement of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Nations the remaining countries will take the
scheme’s
Unnecessary verb
scheme
show examples
seriously. Global warming is a great threat across the globe only through addressing
this
Linking Words
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
nationally it might not be solved
hence
Linking Words
it is important
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
a new set of rules for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better future.
For example
Linking Words
, after the industrial revolution child labour was abolished only because the entire Globe united across the table which significantly reduced to a greater
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
. Since the problem is affecting the whole globe it is important to have global discussions for
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
adequate solution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
implementing the idea which is developed globally should be
Correct article usage
a prioriety
show examples
prioriety
Correct your spelling
priority
. Because it is
prime
Correct article usage
the prime
show examples
ministers
Change noun form
minister's
show examples
duty to involve the citizens unite together to fight the battle against the sustainable development authorities to visualise the situation and
need to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
provide adequate solutions. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, In India
agricultural land reform act
Correct your spelling
Agricultural Land Reform Act
show examples
was passed several years ago
this
Linking Words
is to make sure agricultural area is utilised for farming. Development is necessary
however
Linking Words
, it should not
be harming
Wrong verb form
harm
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that people should
also
Linking Words
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in these kind
or
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
reforms to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature because it is the right of each and every one to live
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
planet
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
for that steps has to be taken internationally
Linking Words
similarly
Correct word choice
and similarly
show examples
nationally
Submitted by connectakhilkg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The essay introduces the topic and presents both sides of the argument, but lacks clarity and focus on the main ideas. It also lacks in providing relevant specific examples to support the arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, leading to unclear presentation of the ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in clarity and relevance to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unified response
  • consensus
  • autonomy
  • sovereignty
  • frameworks
  • sustainability
  • multilateral agreements
  • cross-border issues
  • ecosystems
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • biodiversity
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmental policy
  • sustainable development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: