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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

There has been a discussion that underage crime is linked to violence in the
media
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. In my opinion, the main reason for
this
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 is
children
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's exposure to violent
content
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, and possible solutions include parental supervision and promoting creative leisure activities.
To begin
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 with, violent
media
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content
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 is a major contributor to juvenile delinquency. Since
children
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 can easily access inappropriate material online, they may become influenced by it and imitate aggressive behaviour in their daily lives—at home, at school, or in public spaces.
For example
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, there have been news reports of young people who play Grand Theft Auto (GTA), a video game where players can freely act out scenarios
such
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 as bank robberies. Some
children
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 have mimicked these violent actions in real life, leading to vandalism or even sexual violence.
This
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 clearly shows how
media
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content
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 can negatively influence youth behaviour.
However
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, there are effective solutions to address
this
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 issue, particularly through parental supervision. Parents should monitor how their
children
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 use digital devices,
such
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 as computers and phones, which are the primary sources of
media
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content
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. By limiting screen time and controlling what their
children
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 watch or play, parents can reduce the risk of harmful influences.
Additionally
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, encouraging
children
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 to participate in extracurricular activities,
such
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 as sports, music, or art, can help them spend their time in more productive and positive ways. These alternatives can help reduce their dependence on screens and foster the development of their social and emotional skills. In conclusion,
while
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 violent
content
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 in
media
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 can contribute to the rise in juvenile crime, parents can help prevent these negative behaviours by supervising
media
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 use and encouraging healthy, creative activities.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your main points with more examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance flow. You can use linking words or phrases between sentences.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points. This helps the reader understand your position.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your essay and restates your main points, which gives a satisfying end to the argument.
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