Nowadays, many animals becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human being are more important. Discuss view and give your own opinion.

#animals #people #countries #individuals

A lot of

animals

are extinct these days. There are people who think that

this

matter should be solved by counties and individuals.

In contrast

, some people say mankind is more important. My opinion is that we are not able to decide what kind of animal is more important. We need to respect other

animals

too. I will discuss both views and say my thoughts.

First

, It is necessary to prevent extinction. A huge of

animals

die because of human actions.

Therefore

, if a human is

the

Change the article

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reason, they need to solve it. If do not do anything, a large number of

animals

will die in a bad environment. The companies prefer benefits

such

as money than protect nature. But, they ought to spend money to save it.

For example

, buying more things that can be used more than 1 time or recyclables .

Second

, I agree that mankind is more important than anything. It is normal because no one wants to be in dangerous situations. In high school, a friend asked me if I can teach him mathematics but I was busy because I am not adept at Japanese. So, I did not help him and I practised my Japanese. I thought that I am more important. Overall, I agree with human beings are more important.

However

, it is not mean that we are able to destroy another animal's life. We need to respect their habits and not built buildings in their places. The conclusion is that countries and individuals must solve the problem of many

animals

becoming extinct.

Submitted by kenji200056 on Tue Oct 25 2022

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, many animals becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human being are more important. Discuss view and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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