Nowadays, many animals becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human being are more important. Discuss view and give your own opinion.

#animals #people #countries #individuals

A lot of

animals

are extinct these days. There are people who think that

this

matter should be solved by counties and individuals.

In contrast

, some people say mankind is more important. My opinion is that we are not able to decide what kind of animal is more important. We need to respect other

animals

too. I will discuss both views and say my thoughts.

First

, It is necessary to prevent extinction. A huge of

animals

die because of human actions.

Therefore

, if a human is

the

Change the article

show examples

reason, they need to solve it. If do not do anything, a large number of

animals

will die in a bad environment. The companies prefer benefits

such

as money than protect nature. But, they ought to spend money to save it.

For example

, buying more things that can be used more than 1 time or recyclables .

Second

, I agree that mankind is more important than anything. It is normal because no one wants to be in dangerous situations. In high school, a friend asked me if I can teach him mathematics but I was busy because I am not adept at Japanese. So, I did not help him and I practised my Japanese. I thought that I am more important. Overall, I agree with human beings are more important.

However

, it is not mean that we are able to destroy another animal's life. We need to respect their habits and not built buildings in their places. The conclusion is that countries and individuals must solve the problem of many

animals

becoming extinct.

Submitted by kenji200056 on Tue Oct 25 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, many animals becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem. Others believe that human being are more important. Discuss view and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Government should allow students to pay fee after graducation or it should be free? which one is best?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against common childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.