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All the university students should do voluntary work in their own time to help local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#university #students #work #time #community
Although
 lots of people believe that voluntary employment of university
students
 can cause lower
quality
 of education in order to reduce their free time which is related to their studies, I totally disagree with
this
 statement. Part-time jobs for
students
 can provide a better
quality
 of community facilities and
also
 help them to manage their
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 aspect of life easier.
Firstly
, young people have lots of energy and can be productive in society,
furthermore
, their enthusiasm
toward
Change preposition
for
show examples
 working is appreciated and can significantly improve the output of every company. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, a post-graduate student who is accepted as a teaching assistant in high school
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 can help high school
students
 in their lessons and experiments and it can mount the
quality
 of education in high schools.
In addition
, working voluntarily, make
students
 reach more money for their living and improve their
quality
 of life
besides
 experiences. The more money they reach, the more they feel relaxed in their own life. Shown by researchers that university
students
 who have efficient financial sources, concentrate better on their lessons in order to have fewer financial distractions and make a complete study-life balance. In conclusion, working
voluntary
Change the adjective
voluntarily
show examples
 have several
Correct your spelling
positive
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 effects on both community-based activities and student
Correct your spelling
life
lives
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
, and
I'm totally agree
Change the verb form
I totally agree
show examples
 with
this
.
Submitted by mahjoubitina on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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