IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

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People claim that
zoos
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 provide no benefits in the modern world and should be shut down. Definitely, there are some issues that are caused by
zoos
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. Albeit, in my option some options can be introduced to replace them.
This
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 essay will demonstrate the problems zoological
gardensproduce
Correct your spelling
gardens produce
 and illustrate the system which has the potential to replace them.
To begin
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 with, animal-right enthusiasts are the product of the modern world and actually, we should be thankful and grateful to them for the work they do to save wildlife, particularly
animals
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. They claim that isolating wild
animals
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 in cages is a violation.
Besides
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, they actively support the idea of allowing wild
animals
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 to graze in an open environment to which they belong
to
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apply
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.
In addition
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, they say that whoever is interested in experiencing what wildlife creatures look like should opt for paying a visit to safari parks. Whatsmore, safari parks provide tourists with a lifetime experience, they are definitely way more exciting than traditional
zoos
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.
Secondly
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, when it comes to creating some alternatives to
zoos
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 if one day they stop operating, creating a special atmosphere where
animals
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 can move around without fear of being captured or hunted sound appealing and can be a proper solution. Another important thing is that authorities must introduce laws that the regions with wildlife they belong to should be protected from the hands of hunters. In conclusion, the proposal of getting rid of
zoos
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 indicates that it has positive sides only.
However
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, it is crucial to make sure that other options are existent before completely eliminating the zoological parks.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethical and animal welfare
  • artificial habitats
  • psychological distress
  • abnormal behaviors
  • conservation
  • inbreading
  • wildlife sanctuaries
  • rehabilitation centers
  • naturalistic habitats
  • virtual and augmented reality
  • ecotourism
  • wildlife documentaries
  • educational platforms
  • genetic pool
  • immersive experiences
  • conservation education
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