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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of healths and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #levels #healths #fitness #measures
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Recently, there are more and more
people
Use synonyms
 living with high weight, reducing their health and fitness to some extent. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons and provide some solutions to
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to rely more
on
Add the preposition
onon
uponon
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 in recent years, which contains too much oil, salt and sugar in it.
This
Linking Words
 somehow results in the overconsumption of fat in everyday
life
Use synonyms
. A good case in point is that
people
Use synonyms
 who are working usually don’t have much
time
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lunch break.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will tend to purchase fast
food
Use synonyms
 for meals due to its convenience and cheapness. In
this
Linking Words
 case, they may over-rely on junk
food
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, with fewer nutrients in it, causing more health problems,
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes and obesity. The solution to
this
Linking Words
 situation is that
people
Use synonyms
 should be more aware of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 consumption.
Hence
Linking Words
 they should keep in mind that eating healthier
food
Use synonyms
 can make them live a better
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays spend less
time
Use synonyms
 exercising in their daily
life
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. With the advancing of technology,
people
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 prefer using their mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 more during their free
time
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. My brother can make a compelling example that he always chooses to play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video game on his iPad rather than engage in outdoor activities on the weekend. Without engaging in outdoor activities regularly, he became fatter and less energetic over
time
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. In order to deal with
this
Linking Words
 case, the government should not only establish
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 gym but
also
Linking Words
 create a more friendly environment for the residents. These movements may somehow appeal to individuals to engage in sports more and
thus
Linking Words
 create a healthier
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, with a view to solving the problem of increasing obesity, not only should individuals be aware of their meals, but the government should
also
Linking Words
 provide a friendly environment for outdoor activities.
Submitted by sabrinakikilala on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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