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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life. What are the causes of this situation, and what can individuals and employers do to reduce the problem? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #balance #demands #work #life #situation #individuals #employers
It is a matter of common knowledge, that every people's
life
is eclipses
Change the verb form
is eclipsed
show examples
 by work since it is the source of their money which provides for their needs in
life
. But, some parts of society don't have enough
time
 to spend on their pleasure and family,
this
 is the problem of half of the population of the world, which needs to be solved by people themselves and employers. To start with, hectic
life
 balance should be regulated by the companies since they are responsible for their worker's well-being. The most essential is to regulate the
time
 employer spent at the company service, and breaks during work are important too.
For example
: in Spain, people have 2 hours gap between their work, from 3 o'clock to 5, so they have the opportunity to hang out with their friends enjoy their
time
 at the cafes or just visit their family members.
On the other hand
, employers can't cope with problems without the help of individuals. One should improve
time
 management of his
life
, and make priorities. Burdening yourself with problems all the
time
 and working systematically, has a bad impact not only personal
life
 but on your health itself.
For example
; my uncle who is a hardworking and very successful businessman
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 doesn't have a family in his 40, which he regrets most since only career achievement cant build your
life
. In conclusion, while organizations and governments should give populations enough
time
 to spend of their free will, one should make the right priorities in his
life
.
Submitted by janelidzenatali10 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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