IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Companies and individuals, and not governments should pay the bill of pollution. Do you agree or disagree?

#companies #individuals #governments #bill #pollution
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Instead
 of
governments
Add a comma
,governments
show examples
 the pollution
account
Change the verb form
accounts
show examples
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to be paid by large farms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as well as
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 . I think that they should do that because of them our
plane
Correct your spelling
planet
show examples
, nature , animals and even humans are
suffered
Change the form of the verb
suffering
show examples
.
Firstly
 , due to their contaminating actions, many rare species of animals are disappeared. Waste residues of companies which release into the oceans are
Correct your spelling
cause
Correct article usage
the couse
show examples
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
 of death of several types of fish .
For instance
, scientists have found that
Correct your spelling
clownfish
show examples
clown fish
Correct your spelling
clownfish
show examples
 began to vanish. 25 %of them have already died from poisonous chemicals.
Also
, the other is exactly the same part
from
Change preposition
as
show examples
 plastic. While swimming, they
stuck
Add a missing verb
are stuck
show examples
 in these things .
Hence
, they cannot swim in
such
 a position .
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 their flock
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tried to help them it is futile.
Thus
 , in
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 their number becomes less and less .
Secondly
, air pollution affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humanity. If these companies do not stop
to release
Change the verb form
releasing
show examples
 chemical fume people could develop
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various organs. Take
for example
 lungs of a person. If he breathes from
this
 air a range of viruses might
be emerged
Change to the active voice
emerge
have emerged
show examples
 in the cells of their lungs . Even though in the week the person does not feel it in fact they begin to harm .
Next
 week it becomes difficult for him to inhale. If these companies
at
Add a missing verb
are at
show examples
this
 rate the person may even die.
Therefore
,
this
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to be prevented in time . In conclusion, in my opinion, it occurred because of us and in order to somehow help
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
Add an article
the environment
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 we must pay that bill to the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: