IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that, with the
internet
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 way more accessible to anyone, conventional newspapers are
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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an
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apply
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obselete
Correct your spelling
obsolete
.
This
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 essay totally agrees with that statement because the
internet
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 makes
newspreading
Correct your spelling
new spreading
news reading
 faster and more reliable today. The advance of
internet
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 technology has changed the way
information
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 is distributed nowadays. Everyone can access any kind of
news
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 through social
media
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 platforms and get the most recent updates. The
news
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media
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 has already changed from providing selected topics to be written in a daily headline to being more dynamic yet real-time based on real-life situations.
For example
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, on Twitter, people around the world can easily get the latest
information
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 about Japan's earthquake disaster in 2019 with details
such
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 as the latest condition documentation and evacuation work progress.
Furthermore
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, the families of affected residents can
also
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 get to know their
relatives
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relative's
relatives'
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 conditions even without direct contact because communication access is still limited to the disaster area. Regarding the
news
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 quality, people can compare and validate every piece of data between several
news
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media
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,
in contrast
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, the conventional one only provides one side perspective from the redaction board, which can be more subjective. The official account of any government institution can publish the clarification statement of any misleading
information
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that is
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 consumed in public
while
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 for the society.
For instance
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, when the spread of COVID-19 first came up, the Ministry of Health directly held a press conference through their official YouTube channel to calm down the public. In conclusion, the
Internet
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 of Things era is bringing a lot of positive impact on the
information
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media
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 business process,
such
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 as making it easy to access yet up-to-date and providing a well-balanced point of view.
Therefore
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, I believe that the conventional
news
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media
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 are outdated and should utilize the
internet
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 to keep up with the industry.

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, stating your opinion and summarizing the main points.
structure
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a single main idea with example support. This makes your argument easier to follow and strengthens your points.
cohesion
Expand the range of linking phrases to show comparisons, contrasts, cause and effect, etc., to better connect your ideas and improve clarity.
task response
To enhance task achievement, make sure every part of the question is addressed fully. This includes explaining your viewpoint fully and detailing how the examples you provide support your opinion.
language use
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to vividly express your ideas and keep the reader engaged. This will also demonstrate your language proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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