IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as parks and squares, Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #spaces #parks #squares
Today,
people
 prefer to live in a town that caters to all the basic needs necessary to live a comfortable lifestyle. Some believe that a town must have some spacious public
areas
 where different age group of
people
 can spend their time. I am in complete accordance with them for certain reasons which will be discussed
further
. Cities with large public
areas
 have their own advantages. Residents can socialize with their friends easily without any fear.
For example
, children can play at the park with their age group and get the opportunity to make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new buddies.
This
also
 helps in their growth as they learn to acclimatise to
a new environments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new environment
new environments
show examples
 apart from their home.
Secondly
, senior citizens get an opportunity to meet like-minded
people
 and sometimes get an opportunity to find gossip pals too.
Such
areas
 make them overcome the feeling of loneliness in their life.
In addition
 to
this
, town centres of any city
connects
Change the verb form
connect
show examples
 different age group
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one place and
caters
Change the verb form
cater
show examples
 to their shopping needs
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one place. Youngsters get to hang out with their mates and do activities together. To exemplify, many new cafes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and play stations give you a personal space to spend quality time with your close ones. Not only that, the chances of getting cheated at
such
 places get reduced as lots of
people
 visit there regularly. Others have their own reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 not
agreeing
Change the form of the verb
agree
show examples
 with my statement which cannot be ignored. They believe that space should be utilised to grow industrial
areas
 which in return will increase the job opportunities for the citizens. It will increase the influx of money which can improve the standard of living of city dwellers.
Moreover
, with the increasing population, we need
areas
 to develop more houses than parks.
This
 need cannot be totally overlooked as well. In conclusion, every city should try to balance the needs of everybody living in it. Spacious public
areas
 encourage a healthy lifestyle, socialisation and a safe atmosphere which is imperative in today's fast-paced routine. Substituting it with industrial or residential development will cause harm to
people
 over a long period of time,
therefore
, I strongly back with the former viewpoint.
Submitted by krishisoni121 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: