Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that
school
should remove Fix the agreement mistake
schools
sport
and music so that Fix the agreement mistake
sports
students
can focus on academic subjects
such
as Math or English, which support their careers in future
. While it is true that core subjects
are important, I do not believe that completely concentrating on teaching academic fields is an optimum choice due to securing employment and enhancing potential talents by studying artistic and athletic subjects
.
On the one hand, academic subjects
are paramount to students
’ future
profession
. It could be said that the foremost objective of people who attend school is to get a financially viable career when they finish. When Fix the agreement mistake
professions
students
give full attention to only one subjects
, the learners can get high academic knowledge in their own fields and easy to get a good job with Fix the agreement mistake
subject
attractive
salary. Correct article usage
an attractive
Moreover
, concentrating on one important subject enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
students
’ efficient
Replace the word
efficiency
of
learning. Due to it, Change preposition
apply
students
do not feel bored and stress
when have to study Wrong verb form
stressed
the
Correct article usage
apply
subjects
they do not keen on learning.
On the other hand
, teaching athletic and artistic fields allow young talents to be discovered as well as indirectly make
candidates more employable. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Subjects
such
as music and sport provide essential skills which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
necessary
for Add a missing verb
are necessary
future
Add an article
a future
the future
career
. Nowadays, recruiters tend to Fix the agreement mistake
careers
favor
candidates majoring in arts because they are more creative and better at Change the spelling
favour
collaborative
Add an article
the collaborative
a collaborative
skill
, Fix the agreement mistake
skills
and
Correct word choice
apply
it
is the key to any company’s success. Correct pronoun usage
which
Furthermore
, some students
do not know that they have aptitude
Add an article
the aptitude
an aptitude
of
Change preposition
for
this
field. Therefore
, teaching athletic and artistic subjects
helps Correct article usage
the school
school
as well as the youth to discover their potential, and it can be an opportunity for Fix the agreement mistake
schools
students
to success
and find a good job in the Replace the word
succeed
future
.
In conclusion, in spite of the benefits of learning academic subjects
, I still believe that learners ought to study all the subjects
to achieve their full potential and get a good job in the field that
they have Change preposition
in that
aptitude
Add an article
the aptitude
an aptitude
.
Change preposition
for.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.