Employers should give their workers at least one month’s holiday a year, as it makes them better at their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Several countries across the world have implemented labour laws that guarantee several rights to workers which include 30 days of
time
off. However
, this
vacation
time
is highly controversial. While
some people believe that it may improve employees' productivity, others argue that might be prejudicial for businesses.
Opponents of this
vacation
period argue some economic disadvantages. Mostly small to medium- size
companies cannot afford to hire individuals to replace those Correct your spelling
medium-sized
that
are on Correct pronoun usage
who
vacation
. Therefore
, many projects would be put on hold until the persons who are responsible for return from vacation
. Not only might this
be prejudicial for companies, but also
for their peers at work. For instance
, if some workers took time
off, their colleagues would have to work more to cover the work of those who are on vacation
.
Although
I agree that the above arguments are valid, I do not believe they outweigh the numerous benefits that vacations might bring to people. Firstly
, it is particularly important for mental health. Indeed, several research studies have shown that we all need spare time
for leisure and pleasant activities to keep us mentally healthy. Secondly
, it might improve productivity. For example
, last
year I went on vacation
in Japan with a friend who works in an advertising company, and during this
trip, she had a bright idea for a commercial. Once she returned to her job, she was inspired and full of energy to implement this
new project.
In conclusion, some company owners might argue that they cannot afford vacations for their employees. However
, at the end
of the day, if they have healthier workers, it might be cost-saving for several businesses.Submitted by mayara_bastos on
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task achievement
Your arguments and examples are well-chosen and relevant, but try to present more specific statistics or studies to make your argument even stronger.
task achievement
Make sure to balance the discussion between both sides of the argument a bit more evenly to fully address the 'to what extent' aspect of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that your paragraphs transition more smoothly from one to the next to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a few more cohesive devices to link your ideas more clearly and effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your position while also considering opposing viewpoints, which is excellent.
task achievement
You provided specific, relevant examples such as the trip to Japan which significantly support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to your response.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?