IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language
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I believe that living in a
country
 where people speak a different
language
 from yours may cause serious
problems
 even practical ones. I strongly agree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will support my idea in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, if you have a low level of knowledge about the
language
 in the
country
 you live in, will make you poor at finding friends. As a matter of fact, as long as you have poor
language
 in the
country
 you live in, people may misunderstand you.
For example
: my cousin went to India for treatment since his
language
 was not good enough, and he faced too many
problems
 to tell the doctor about his health issue not only that he lost himself on the way back to the hotel he used to settle there and found it very hard.
Therefore
, when you do not know anything about the
language
 of the
country
 you live in, you will deal with social issues
besides
 practical ones.
Furthermore
, for those people who travel overseas for work, they are going to face practical
problems
 as well.
In other words
, you may not find the job you deserve and a great example of
this
 is my uncle who is a doctor and recently went to Canada through visa work but unfortunately his English was very bad, now he is a taxi driver and could not find a job at his profession. m In conclusion, living in a
country
 where its
language
 is different from your native
language
 can cause a lot of
problems
 as I mentioned before.
Submitted by abdullahhabibi9999 on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully expand on your points. Provide more detailed explanations and examples for a complete and thorough response. For instance, instead of just mentioning that language issues can cause social problems, explain the nuances of these problems in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence structure and phrasing for better clarity. Use varied sentence lengths and structures to maintain reader interest and ensure your message is clear. This includes making sure that your points are ordered logically and transitions between ideas are smooth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are fully developed and that ideas flow seamlessly from one to the next. Transition words and phrases can help guide readers through your essay more effectively.
task achievement
Continue to use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points, but ensure they are fully integrated into the argument you are presenting. This will strengthen your task response and make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure to your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your main points are identifiable.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help illustrate your points. They add a personal touch and provide real-world context to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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