IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #drugs
Nowadays it is often considered the best way to control
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
illegal
Add an article
an illegal
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substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
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 is
Change preposition
by making
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making
Change the verb form
to make
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 legal. In
this
 regard,
government
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the government
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 can play
its
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a
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 vital role. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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 I totally disagree with
this
 approach.
Hence
, in the following
paragraphs
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,paragraphs
show examples
 I will elaborate
my
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on my
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 point of view.
To begin
 with, in recent days
large
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a large
the large
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 number of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 population is addicted to drugs,
for example
, even they don't hesitate to smuggle
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 through the borders.
Secondly
, in many parts of the
world
Add a comma
,world
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 some types of medicine like sleeping pills, anti-depressants and antibiotics can’t sell without
prescription
Correct article usage
a prescription
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 because
right
Add an article
the right
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 dosage is crucial.
Consequently
, without taking it in specified quantity it can lead to death.
Additionally
, can bring many other consequences which will put
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pressure on the health care system of any country and unwanted
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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 as well.
Moreover
, it will be very difficult to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes and drug addiction in
the
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apply
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society which in turn will spoil the youth of any nation.
Furthermore
, some drugs have
medical
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a medical
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 use,
For example
, Marijuana or Ephedrine as FDA
proved
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proven
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 their usefulness in heart diseases, epilepsy or improved concentration but it is the obligation of
Correct your spelling
policymakers
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policy makers
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policymakers
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 to regulate
quota
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the quota
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 system; only allowing the specified quantity according to the need of pharmaceutical companies.
Otherwise
, by legalizing it will be impossible to keep the check. In a recent survey done in Australia, it was found that 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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illegal
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of illegal
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 drugs are taken by
youth
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the youth
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 of age 15-28 while only 20
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of other ages are involved. In conclusion, I would say legalizing
the
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apply
show examples
illicit products will only cause
the
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apply
show examples
harm
Correct quantifier usage
most harm
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and youth the most.
Submitted by ammaramaqsood60 on

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