IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some think that it is better to get information or advice from other people, while others believe one can get any information or advice from the Internet or books. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A highly controversial topic relates to whether to get advice from other people or refer to information on the internet. In
this
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 essay, I will examine
this
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 question from both points of view and
then
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 explain why I believe the reference on the internet nowadays is more trustworthy. There are people who argue that the benefits of getting solutions from others considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing in
this
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 is that direct listening to a story facilitates a conversation more
effective
Change the word
effectively
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that answerers may interpret thoroughly about emotions of askers
therefore
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 they are able to give the right advice.
However
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, a useful reference
is depend
Wrong verb form
depends
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 too much on the sharer's experience and credibility. One good illustration of
this
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 is I often ask my best friend about working experience but sometimes he
did
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does
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 not
can
Verb problem
apply
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give a valuable suggestion because he does not work in my job field.
On the other hand
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, others are convinced that sources of knowledge from websites or books are more reliable. It is often argued that derived information from these sources is verified by many viewers
thus
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 it will allow readers to opt for the most suitable solution for themselves. A second point is that the convenience of online searching is extremely obvious because everyone is supposed to own a smart electric device so information is updated for users rapidly. A particularly good example here is Wikipedia is a believable dictionary on the intranet about entire topics and the answers are explained by it very quickly. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
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, I feel that advice from the internet and books are more objective.
This
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 is because why Google or Wikipedia now have been the largest data sources and visited by billions of people daily around the world

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, but it would be better to give a brief outline of the essay structure. This helps the reader understand what to expect.
coherence and cohesion
In your paragraphs, try to make the connection between your ideas clearer. Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'however,' or 'for example' to help guide your reader.
task achievement
Make sure to thoroughly explain your examples. Some of your examples were good, but they needed more detail to show how they supported your point.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid complex sentence structures that make your writing unclear. Simple sentences can sometimes convey your ideas more directly and effectively.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear and present in the introduction and conclusion, which is important in an essay.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a balance of viewpoints, which shows a good understanding of the topic. This is important for a discussion essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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