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Writing Samples
Band 7

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people live longer and life expectancy increases. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #increases
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many believe that due to the improvement of the
health
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system
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 mortality rate has increased and people live longer as compared to old times.
this
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 advancement has many pros but it comes with a few cons
also
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 but I believe that benefits take a leap
instead
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 of drawbacks in terms of improved life quality and motivation for youngsters for their future career goals.
to begin
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 with,no doubt nowadays our
health
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system
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 has changed drastically as compared to decades back, in terms of merits ,
for instance
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, due to the establishment of good hospitals folk can live their life peacefully
also
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 older community can enjoy and spend some quality time with young generation
instead
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 of getting sick due to not getting proper medical attention.,
moreover
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,it opens door to many job opportunities for young lads,
for example
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,these days a lot of students want to pursue a career in the medical field,either a doctor or pharmacist because they are aware of the fact that it will provide them with good wages and many they will help humanity.
On the other hand
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,surely it comes with some cons,
such
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 as,with improved
health
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 facilities along with less morbidity rate population will reach to old age and
consequently
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 causing less job availability for new graduates because we can see that every company prefers an experienced old man rather than a fresh one.,
furthermore
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,it will take a serious toll on government expenditure,
for instance
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,more and more budget will be spent on
health
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 care facilities and hospitals and no attention will be given to education, food and other basic necessities,
in addition
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,more old age funds will be given to elderly because they
subsequently
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 due to good
health
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 people will reach old age. to conclude, I agree that due to improvement of our
health
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 care
system
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 we can face demerits like no jobs for young and increased government funding for geriatrics,
although
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 I strongly advocate that the
health
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system
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 should be good because of its merits,like improved quality of life,motivation for children to choose a right career.
Submitted by m.bano57 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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