IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn. Discuss both views and give your option.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount #option
As a result
 of hard work and years of studying hard, some
people
 earn high salaries in many areas of business. While it may seem normal to one, others argue for the
government
 to tax and limit the amount
people
 earn. I will give my opinion on
this
 matter. While some
people
 support the idea that the
government
 taxing or controlling extremely high wages according to a news story published by the New York
Time
Fix the agreement mistake
Times
show examples
 on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wage democracy control is unconstitutional, and the
government
 cannot interfere with how much an individual could earn if were working legally to earn money. According to a financial expert at XP Company, there are many ways to balance the percentage of tax each salary bracket will pay to the
government
, and
this
 helps
people
 who are in the middle class or less. And it's my opinion, anyone should be punitive for their profits. Even so, it has become a controversial topic
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
talk
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, many
people
 argue that those who earn more money do not need to pay more
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
. They believe that it is important for humanity to have rich
people
 because they usually give the opportunity to other
people
 who have employed. In fact, those with very high salaries tend to invest more money in entrepreneurship and open companies where
people
 like us start to work and climb to corporate leadership. In conclusion, topics like
this
 always become an interesting
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 and my point of view is that those who earn more have to pay more taxes because they can help the country improve its financial situation and create more opportunities for the population as well.
Submitted by murilo.siqueira2012 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: