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Writing Samples
Band 4

As children become adults, their social behavior changes in some ways . What are the main differences between young children's social behavior and that of adults?

#children #adults #behavior #changes #differences
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There are some alterations between
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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 and full
growns
Correct your spelling
grown
grows
 in their social
behavior
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behaviour
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. When a youngster is officially considered
as
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apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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mature . I think that there are many differences between them but one of the most important things is responsibility.
Firstly
Linking Words
, adults are much more responsible and serious than children . They know almost all the rules like how to behave in society, at home and as well as
on
Change preposition
in
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 public places.
For instance
Linking Words
, now I can act like a gentleman ubiquitous but in my
childhood
Add a comma
,childhood
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although
Linking Words
 I champed, spoke loudly and even fight with
brother
Correct pronoun usage
my brother
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 it was normal for me .
As a result
Linking Words
 time with time though I learned
my
Change preposition
from my
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 mistakes I was very ashamed
for
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of
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 those.
Secondly
Linking Words
, disobedience
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is one of
poor
Add an article
the poor
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 qualities of
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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. They quarrel with each other,
Correct word choice
and
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do not say hello to the elders.
Also
Linking Words
, they do not complete the tasks which are given
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them .
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the children in my state when they meet older people ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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often do not say the words "Assalomu-aleykum " which is saying hello . Several of them feel ashamed, but some do not care.
Therefore
Linking Words
, every parent should teach their offspring to say that because
that is
Linking Words
 the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 golden words. In conclusion, I
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that even though there are always differences in social
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 between them they change
by
Change preposition
over
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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