IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that government and individuals can tackle these problem

#overpopulation #areas #two #ones #government #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are moving towards urban
areas
Use synonyms
 from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 for better
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 and education.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it leads to various problems. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss the problems and solutions, that authorities and
people
Use synonyms
 take to solve the issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 problem is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of resources. Due to
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 population,
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from housing and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of food materials. Due to
over congestion
Add a hyphen
over-congestion
show examples
, they do not have
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to live in.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Mumbai
Add a comma
,Mumbai
show examples
 the place of
two bedroom
Add a hyphen
two-bedroom
show examples
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
show examples
 is around 20 million, and it is suggested to increase in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 decades. To solve
this
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should increase the basic fundamental necessities
such
Linking Words
 as shelter, food and water. The
second
Linking Words
 problem is unemployment and traffic congestion.
Increase
Correct article usage
An increase
show examples
 in the crowd leads to
heavy
Add an article
the heavy
show examples
 traffic which
disturbes
Correct your spelling
disturbs
disturbed
 the regular routine. Many
people
Use synonyms
 do not have a proper job and suffer a lot to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their requirements.
For instance
Linking Words
, the roads in London are well developed, doors of houses directly open to the road. The local authorities should take
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 steps to improve public transportation and roads. It should be kept in the mind
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to provide more jobs . The
third
Linking Words
 problem is pollution. Many
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from various diseases due to pollution
such
Linking Words
 as malaria,
cholera
Correct word choice
and cholera
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in Delhi suffer from illness due to poor drainage and lack of maintenance. The organization should take necessary steps, to make underground drainage to improve the life and health of
people
Use synonyms
. To recapitulate,
people
Use synonyms
 in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 should be provided with proper education and basic facilities which in turn decrease the migration of
people
Use synonyms
 to urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by preethikrish444 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: