It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagreewith this statement?
Owing to the problems of saving independent person and ignore small
money
, many Use synonyms
people
argue to young Use synonyms
people
to save their Use synonyms
money
as preparation is important for their future. I agree with Use synonyms
this
statement, saving Linking Words
money
can provide financial stability in the long term but Use synonyms
this
should Linking Words
along with
paying attention to body health.
Many Linking Words
people
as well Use synonyms
young
Correct word choice
as young
aged
started to prepare for the future they started to save their Verb problem
apply
money
for emergency Use synonyms
things
or expensive stuff. Nowadays, we can find many essentials that are expensive Use synonyms
such
as living expenses, transportation, retirement, and preparing to have a family. Linking Words
However
, they should save Linking Words
money
for emergency Use synonyms
things
. Use synonyms
As a result
, many young Linking Words
people
save their salaries to provide financial stability as well and Use synonyms
this
can lead to stabilization in the long term.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, Linking Words
people
who are motivated to save their Use synonyms
money
cause effect to mental health problems. Pressure to have financial stabilization for older aged can make a person ignore their well-being. Many Use synonyms
people
want to beUse synonyms
Add an article
an
things
, Use synonyms
such
as choosing to have cheap meals or fast food which is unhealthy and Linking Words
this
can lead to some diseases Linking Words
such
as obesity, diabetes, and other symptoms. Linking Words
Also
, having Linking Words
a
pressure of having Correct article usage
the
money
for the future causes mental health Use synonyms
such
as depression.
In conclusion, the habit of saving Linking Words
money
is not beneficial for financial Use synonyms
things
but Use synonyms
this
good for emergency preparation. Linking Words
Therefore
, I disagree with young Linking Words
people
saving Use synonyms
money
without healthy habits, having the pressure to have finances can lead to other diseases Use synonyms
such
as depression.Linking Words
Submitted by dliyaa on
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task achievement
Try to support your argument with more specific examples. For instance, refer to real-world situations or statistics that illustrate how young people can balance saving money with maintaining good health.
task achievement
Elaborate on your ideas further to ensure they are comprehensive and clear. You could, for example, describe how young people can practically balance the need to save with taking care of their health.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more transition words or phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument. This is important as it gives the reader a good understanding of the essay's purpose and the direction of your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure that clearly addresses the task, discussing both the importance of saving money and its potential implications on health, which shows a balanced view.
task achievement
You have identified a unique perspective on the topic by linking financial stability with health concerns, demonstrating a thoughtful approach to the topic.