Some people prefer to work a lot, and spend less time on leisure activities. I think that this has more drawbacks than benefits
Nowadays, people are taking part in the rat race
of
the Change preposition
for
Correct your spelling
money
many
maney
earning, they are giving Correct your spelling
money
lot
more Correct article usage
a lot
time
on
working than personal Change preposition
apply
time
as a result
individuals are becoming lonely and depressed. In this
essay , I will discuss, how this
development has became
more Change the verb form
become
disadvantagous
than beneficial.
Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
To begin
with, maintaining Add a hyphen
work-life
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
life
balance is quite important for all human beings, otherwise
they will be either stressed out or detached from the rest ofAdd a comma
,otherwise
the
society. For Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
overall
over all
development of an individual, someone has to distribute his Correct your spelling
overall
time
in an ideal manner, so that someone
can maintain his personal and professional Correct pronoun usage
he
relationship
. If Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
Correct your spelling
someone
some one
only Correct your spelling
someone
think
about professional growth and neglect personal, social and spiritual growth, in long run, he can be suffered from Change the verb form
thinks
psychiatric
problem. Not only the psychological problem but Add an article
a psychiatric
also
can be affected by other chronic disease
like diabetes Change the wording
another chronic disease
other chronic diseases
melitus
, heart disease, Correct your spelling
Mellitus
hypertension
. Correct word choice
and hypertension
However
, There
are few people who are Fix capitalization
there
workoholic
, they love to work Correct your spelling
workaholic
workaholics
twenty four
into seven.
Add a hyphen
twenty-four
Additionally
, activities related to hobby helps a person
in their emotional growth, and improve individual's
creativity which is important for maintaining a happy Correct article usage
an individual's
life
. A person
needs to distribute his time
equally so that they can pursue their hobby which will help them to get rid of monotonous
Correct article usage
the monotonous
life
routine
. Fix the agreement mistake
routines
For example
, an individual who loves painting ,
can paint in his spare Remove the comma
apply
time
, it will give Correct your spelling
him
hime
a sense of accomplishment.
To conclude, leisure activities Correct your spelling
him
helps
a Change the verb form
help
person
to decrease boredom of
Change preposition
in
life
and increase productivity
of a Add an article
the productivity
person
. Although
money is important, there is no doubt that money can not buy happiness, so to being
happy, Wrong verb form
be
Add a hyphen
work-life
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
life
balance is necessary.Submitted by ratnamalabej93 on
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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...