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Writing Samples
Band 5

write about modern technology and how it affects uch as personal computers and the internet ,have made it possible for many people to do their work from home ,illustrate the advantages and disadvanteges with examples not less than 250 words

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Today Modern technology,
such
Linking Words
 as personal computers and the
internet
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 ,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 made it possible for many people to do their work from home .
this
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of advantages like saving
time
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 and
money
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 .
In Addition
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 , in being more efficient .
On the other hand
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its
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it's
it is
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 less
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
. Computers and modern technology saved a lot of
time
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 and
money
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 due to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 fast pace of it .
On the other hand
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 , It saved for
companies
Change noun form
companies'
company's
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 office appliances ,desks , office
rents
Fix the agreement mistake
rent
show examples
, and all other needs employers needed
time
Use synonyms
 ago . Plus, saved
time
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 from work to home and the other way around .
On the other hand
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 , it saved tons of
money
Use synonyms
 for employers to invest
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 other business aspects.
Nevertheless
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, it made us more efficient in communicating
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other in completing our daily tasks
instead
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 of using the fax machine and the
Correct your spelling
postman
show examples
post man
Correct your spelling
postman
show examples
 like we used to do thirty years ago.
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Similarly
Similar
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, depending on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 made our world a small people can communicate in
efficiency
Replace the word
efficiently
show examples
 and transparent than before .
On the
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contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
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 there are some disadvantages as well.
For instance
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cyber security is not
garuanted
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 hackers everywhere.
Also
Linking Words
 , if the system or the
internet
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 is down for any reason , life will be paralyzed
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immediately
immediatly
Correct your spelling
immediately
. To sum up , modern technology and the
internet
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 did make our life
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier , saved
time
Use synonyms
 ,
Use synonyms
money
Correct word choice
and money
show examples
 and
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 more efficient and productive . But, we cannot ignore as well the cyber security point of view.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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