In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience. Write at least 250 words.

The level of
crimes
today in countries is increasing and becoming more brutal. We will cover in
this
essay the reason why
this
is happening and what can society do to prevent the
crime
before it occurs. The fundamental cause for violent and high
crime
rates is the Rise of unemployment, especially if most of
this
society is from young
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
This
causes drug abuse
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
and with all kinds of dangerous drugs it can lead to a brutal
crime
,
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apply
show examples
like
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
a guy
kills
Wrong verb form
killing
show examples
his whole family under drugs.
Also
, feeling worthless and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
depressed because of not having
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
is an initial motive.
In addition
, the economical crisis is crucial in the equation, financial pressure can be a big load on someone to commit
crimes
in relentless ways.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
debts can lead anyone to end in a bloody way, dramatic
crime
scene he could never conceive he would do before
this
day.
Furthermore
, the vague future
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
tomorrow is a big plus in committing
such
violent
crimes
in a lot of societies nowadays, not only because of
this
vivid vision
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
because of the question of what’s
next
. Zero
crime
is impossible in any society, but there are previous ways to prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
.
First
and foremost,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
must be stricter in implementing
crime
laws.
Second
, street police should be everywhere and react as fast as possible towards any
complains
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
. Plus, being assertive in chasing criminals the criminal was certain he wouldn’t get caught;
crimes
will never be decreased. In the end, there are more reasons for brutal
crimes
that we cannot enumerate in one essay, but the initial motives as mentioned
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unemployment, economical crisis and vague future
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
enough initiatives for a person to commit
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
.
Submitted by mazenabujabal on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • violent crimes
  • socioeconomic factors
  • law enforcement
  • technology
  • education
  • employment
  • drug abuse
  • alcohol abuse
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • effectiveness
  • investing
  • job creation
  • social support
  • community engagement
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