IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The mass media ,including television ,radio and newspaper have great influence in shaping people's idea. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#mass #media #television #radio #newspaper #influence #people #idea
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It is thought by many that the
mass
media
, including television, radio and newspaper have immense influence over the ideas of
people
. There is an undeniable element of truth to that statement
however
 I believe that
people
's ideas are
also
 shaped by a great host of things
such
 as their environment and their cultural and religious backgrounds. The influence of
mass
media
 has
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
been recognised for years as a source of impacting the opinions of the general public. Companies and advertising agencies compete for slots on television, radio, newspapers and in the modern day, spaces on social
media
 platforms .They use a host of marketing and advertising techniques in order to sell their products to the masses by showcasing these products through these avenues. It has been recognised that products used by celebrities and social
media
 influencers sell out almost immediately and
this
 has given rise to the careers of social
media
 influencers .
Mass
media
 is
also
 used to convey political and ideological messages to the public in the modern day
as well as
 in previous times. Propaganda and messaging are spread through
media
 to sway public opinion.
however
,
people
 are
also
 greatly influenced by their own beliefs and backgrounds including cultural and religious beliefs that they have held on to for years. Religions have been spread across the world without the help of
media
 but through other avenues
such
 as oral tradition. Cultural practices have been passed down from generation to generation without the help of
mass
media
 and folklore dances
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
traditional clothing and other cultural regalia have survived the test of time . In conclusion ,
mass
media
 has an undeniable impact on
people
's views
however
 humans are very complex beings who are influenced by a host of things not limited to the
media
.
Submitted by drnasrawe on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one, using transition words and phrases to connect ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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