IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The mass media ,including television ,radio and newspaper have great influence in shaping people's idea. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is thought by many that the
mass
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media
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, including television, radio and
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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newspaper
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newspaper,
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 have immense influence over the ideas of
people
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. There is an undeniable element of truth to that statement
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; however
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however
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however,
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 I believe that
people
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's ideas are
also
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 shaped by a great host of things
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such
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, such
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 as their environment and their cultural and religious backgrounds. The influence of
mass
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media
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 has
well been
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been well
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 recognised for years as a source of impacting the opinions of the general public. Companies and advertising agencies compete for slots on television, radio, newspapers and in the modern day, spaces on social
media
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 platforms .They use a host of marketing and advertising techniques in order to sell their products to the masses by showcasing these products through these avenues. It has been recognised that products used by celebrities and social
media
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 influencers sell out almost immediately
and
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, and
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this
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 has given rise to the careers of social
media
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 influencers .
Mass
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media
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 is
also
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 used to convey political and ideological messages to the public in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
day
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times
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as well as
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 in previous times. Propaganda and messaging are spread through
media
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 to sway public opinion.
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however
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However
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,
people
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 are
also
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 greatly influenced by their own beliefs and backgrounds
including
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, including
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 cultural and religious beliefs that they have held on to for years. Religions have been spread across the world without the help of
media
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but
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, but
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 through other avenues
such
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 as oral tradition. Cultural practices have been passed down from generation to generation without the help of
mass
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media
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and
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, and
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 folklore dances and traditional clothing
and
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, and
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 other cultural regalia have survived the test of time . In conclusion ,
mass
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media
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 has an undeniable impact on
people
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's views
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; however
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however
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however,
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 humans are very complex beings who are influenced by a host of things
not
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, not
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 limited to the
media
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.

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task response
Say clearly what you think at the start and tell how much you agree or disagree.
task response
Add more clear, specific examples to back your ideas.
coherence
Make one idea in each paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together.
grammar
Check grammar: fix capitalization and use proper punctuation, such as capitalizing However.
content
The essay shows a view on both sides.
coherence
There are good links and a balance of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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