IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 that universities should only offer spots to young
students
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 who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 the highest marks, but some
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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others say that they should accept
people
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 of all ages, even
Correct your spelling
if
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of
Correct your spelling
if
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 they did not do well at
school
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into both sides of the argument and correspondingly will shed light on my opinion in the conclusion.
To begin
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 with,
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a student
the student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 with the highest points should be offered placements in their preferred choice. Institutes should offer
there
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their
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admission
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in
Change preposition
to
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 university
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to other applicants.
For example
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, in prestigious colleges,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
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 who have strong academic
background
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backgrounds
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 should be given a spot in their preferred courses
instead
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 of
offering
Wrong verb form
offered
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 to a rich student who can influence the decision with his money. There are many cases in recent years that many rich parents commit
admission
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 fraud to get their babies into
college
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.
Thus
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, it is an unfair
practise
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practice
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.
Additionally
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, many universities deliberately only admit
students
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 with good scores to boost their
college
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image
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. They use
this
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 tactic to create niche educational
institute
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institutes
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 to attract funding from many businesses.
For instance
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, MIT only enrols A-grand
students
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, to reflect their positive
image
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 to companies like Google and IBM to receive funding for their departments.
Hence
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, a reputed
image
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 of the
college
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 results
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image
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in image
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fundings
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funding
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.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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thinks
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think
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 that
college
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 enrolment should be
opened
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open
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 to everyone. All
students
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 should have a chance of getting into their chosen
college
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 course.
For instance
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, universities like IBA take
admission
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 tests for
admission
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, so it gives some chances for all
students
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 to get into
the
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apply
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college
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 regardless of their high
school
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 results. As there can be many reasons for children not to perform well in any particular
school
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 year, these results should not come
in
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apply
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their way to jeopardize their future prospects.
Similarly
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, sometimes due to financial or domestic issues, some
people
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 can not continue their
further
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 studies. Many drops out of
school
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 to ensure they can support their families financially.
For example
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, research shows many teenagers who
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
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 to low-income houses
drops
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drop
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 out of
school
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 to support their families. In conclusion, I believe a
college
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 education should not be treated as a
college
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 only for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
people
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. Everyone should deserve a chance to obtain a good education.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • merit-based
  • competitive environment
  • academic standards
  • innovation
  • diversity
  • mature students
  • equitable
  • inclusive admission policies
  • educational disadvantages
  • holistic admission process
  • extracurricular achievements
  • non-traditional students
  • equal opportunities
  • societal progress
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