IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

A business partner and his team have recently visited your organization, and one of the team members left a coat behind. Write a letter to your business partner. In your letter Say what you liked about their visit Explain why you think the coat belongs to one of their team members Tell them how you plan to return it.

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Dear Mr. Anderson, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about a coat which one of your team members left in the conference room. I would like to express my delightful feelings for your visit to our joint venture of Aero-Space Company
last
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 Monday at Head office
along with
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 your specialised pilot team.
Although
Linking Words
 the whole trip was fantastic, I liked the presentation part the most
due to
Linking Words
 its coherent and detailed nature. Indeed
this
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 project will help us to capture more customers around the globe.
However
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, after the meeting, when I visited our confidential conference room, I found a coat of blue colour with three white stripes on both shoulders. By checking the CCTV footage, I am certain that
this
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 jacket belongs to Mr John, which he inadvertently forgot on the chair
while
Linking Words
 elucidating the plane's parts.
Thus
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, I will return
this
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 coat through the parcel. It will be easy for me if you please fax me the residential or office address of Mr John so I can send it directly to him.
Moreover
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, he can contact my assistant for
further
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 parcel details. I can not wait to meet you soon at our next annual general meeting. Best regards, Jacob Brown

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task achievement
In the first paragraph, you may want to specify immediately the purpose of your letter more clearly to set the context right away.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence. For instance, connecting how the visit impressed you to the moment you found the coat can improve logical flow.
task achievement
The letter addresses all parts of the task effectively: mentioning the visit, identifying the coat, and explaining the return process.
task achievement
The tone is formal and courteous, which is appropriate for the context of writing to a business partner.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured, with clear paragraphs dedicated to specific points, enhancing readability.
coherence cohesion
The use of greetings and closing is done appropriately, maintaining a professional and respectful tone.
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