At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the future of a
country
is in the hands of its youth. In a few countries, young
people
are more numbers than older
people
. In
this
essay, we will look into the advantages and disadvantages of the above and draw some conclusions.
To begin
with, young
people
are more beneficial for the
country
in many ways.
First
of all, young
people
are more energetic
hence
, they will be more productive at work than older
people
.
In addition
to that, young adults are keener to learn and work on new technologies in comparison to older
people
.
Similarly
, if a
country
has
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
young
population
,
then
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
future
population
growth will be positive because after the marriage
their
Change the word
the
show examples
family will
be increase
Change the verb form
be increased
be increasing
show examples
in size
thus
, that particular
country
doesn’t have to bother about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
growth in the long term.
Secondly
, Because of the young
population
Add a comma
,population
show examples
the pressure on that
country
's health sector will be minimum and their health sector will be in a far better situation to deal with any pandemic like corona because the immune system of older
people
is weak
thus
there are more exposed to that particular virus in comparison to young adults.
On the other hand
,
People
also
argue that in most countries the older
people
are running major sectors of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
and
defense
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defence
show examples
and without
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
experience and expertise young
people
cannot manage them. Some
also
believe that
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
are not as energetic as young adults
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
their mental capacity to handle the pressure is far greater than young
people
. In conclusion, some countries have
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
young
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
older
people
. Factors like more energy,
learning
Correct word choice
and learning
show examples
new technologies are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
of the advantages of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
population
but
on the other hand
,
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
of older
people
and their mental capacity is
also
very important. In my opinion,
although
the benefits of
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
population
are more than
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
population
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
for the betterment of the society or
country
both are essential to each other and they should work together.
Submitted by sohailbhai4u on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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