Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #impact #people’s #lives

in today's modern world, advancement in technology development has provided many ways to marketers of promoting their products and services to the general public.

For example

Correct your spelling

show examples

ads

, and online

ads

on video streaming websites, these

ads

are clutter everywhere which ultimately leads to a negative impact on behaviour and our mindset.

To begin

with, the advertiser usually promotes consumerism, which anchors on buying frequently. we are always told to buy new clothes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and stay trendy, or we won't look cool without buying the latest iPhone. These advertisements create a habit that negatively affects individual financial status.

moreover

Capitalize word

Moreover

show examples

, They use stereotypes, Through advertising, they create a feeling toward how a certain group of people should look like.

For example

, beauty creams tailored towards women, try to project the white colour of a woman as superior to the other colour, and women must accept

this

projection that the media portrays and consider

this

as having higher status.

Additionally

, mind cluttering everywhere you see you may find an advertisement. In current times people desire to make their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

as simple as possible, but

due to

this

factor, we have to process thousands of information daily.

Furthermore

, misleading, companies often make products look amazing through their advertising design and stories. But in reality, it doesn't perform as described in the

ads

Additionally

, adverts generally create low self-esteem by manipulating thoughts and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

persuading you to buy products that will make you happy.

To conclude

, in my opinion, advertising negatively

impact

Change the verb form

impacts

show examples

our mental health and sometimes gives us a financial dent.

As most

Correct word choice

Most

show examples

people

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

blindly

following

Wrong verb form

show examples

the trends without thinking about their consequences

Submitted by samdanii678 on Fri Oct 28 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay addresses the prompt, but the position is not clearly stated. It is important to clearly state whether you agree, disagree, or partially agree with the statement and provide a clear thesis statement.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the organization of ideas could be improved to provide better coherence and cohesion. Use transition words and phrases to connect the ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Last week, you visited a local supermarket and you got saticfactory service. Write a letter to the supermarket manager to thank. In your letter: - introduce yourself; - say why you are satisfied; - say thank you and write about your future visits.
I am writing to seek your expertise and assistance with a technical issue I am facing with my new purchased computer.
6
band
In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?
In many nations, the majority of residents do not have enough money to use the Internet. Should the government make sure that the whole population has access to the network?
7.5
band
Many believe that the best way to ensure a happier society is to reduce the difference in income earnings between the rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people assume that reducing the difference in wages between the wealthy and the poor is the best way to establish a happier society. Personally, I completely disagree with this statement, and in this essay, I will explain why I believe so.
7.5
band
You and some friends ate a meal at a restaurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you were very pleased with the food and services. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter • Give details of your visit to the restaurant • Explain the reason for the celebration • Say what was good about the food and the service.
I am writing this letter to express my feeling about service I got very satisfactory service from your restaurant on last weekend.
7.5
band
A large company in your area has decided to spend amount of money,either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts.It has asked for feed back general public. write a letter to the company .in your letter -describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team -summerise the benefits of paying for the concert. -say how you think to send the money
I hope this email finds you in good health. I am writing this letter to share my feedback about spending money either for a sports team or an open-air concert in our area.

Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Last week, you visited a local supermarket and you got saticfactory service. Write a letter to the supermarket manager to thank. In your letter: - introduce yourself; - say why you are satisfied; - say thank you and write about your future visits.

In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?

Many believe that the best way to ensure a happier society is to reduce the difference in income earnings between the rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?