Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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in today's modern world, advancement in technology development has provided many ways to marketers of promoting their products and services to the general public.
For example
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,
Tv
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TV
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ads
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, and online
ads
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on video streaming websites, these
ads
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are clutter everywhere which ultimately leads to a negative impact on behaviour and our mindset.
To begin
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with, the advertiser usually promotes consumerism, which anchors on buying frequently. we are always told to buy new clothes
,
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and stay trendy, or we won't look cool without buying the latest iPhone. These advertisements create a habit that negatively affects individual financial status.
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moreover
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, They use stereotypes, Through advertising, they create a feeling toward how a certain group of people should look like.
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, beauty creams tailored towards women, try to project the white colour of a woman as superior to the other colour, and women must accept
this
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projection that the media portrays and consider
this
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as having higher status.
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, mind cluttering everywhere you see you may find an advertisement. In current times people desire to make their
life
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lives
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as simple as possible, but
due to
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this
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factor, we have to process thousands of information daily.
Furthermore
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, misleading, companies often make products look amazing through their advertising design and stories. But in reality, it doesn't perform as described in the
ads
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.
Additionally
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, adverts generally create low self-esteem by manipulating thoughts and
by
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persuading you to buy products that will make you happy.
To conclude
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, in my opinion, advertising negatively
impact
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impacts
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our mental health and sometimes gives us a financial dent.
As most
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Most
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people
are
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apply
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blindly
following
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follow
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the trends without thinking about their consequences
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt, but the position is not clearly stated. It is important to clearly state whether you agree, disagree, or partially agree with the statement and provide a clear thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the organization of ideas could be improved to provide better coherence and cohesion. Use transition words and phrases to connect the ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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